Practice what you preach

On November 9, 2016, I woke up and didn’t feel too great to put it lightly. Sleep had eluded because I was consumed by worry over a LOT of things after the elections. If I were to describe what I experienced in one word it would have to be dread. This is not me being drastic or melodramatic; this is me being honest and you can ask anyone who works with me to confirm or you can also read my blogpost from that date. It was not a good day for a lot of people and although some people offered support, a lot of other people did a lot of gloating and followed the tone set by the winner of the electoral college.

 

In an election that was way closer than this one, there were no incessant chants of stealing the election or much less what we've seen since November, even if the popular vote swayed quite a different direction by almost 3 million votes. Still, the results were accepted, for better or worse. I was worried about racial tensions, gun violence, the environment, education inequality, the healthcare system, international relations, the immigration situation, and further deepening of economic disparity, to mention some of the more major topics. I was asked for comprehension from many people who were very happy at the 2016 outcome and to quote, “give him a chance” and “have hope”. So I did that and although my initial reaction was pretty negative, I did my best to adjust and do my best to be my best, to hope and be open. 

 

The next four years unfortunately delivered on most of my worries. It has also been a time where people who said “give a chance” and “have hope” also punched down and celebrated over things I found extremely disturbing while condemning things I perceive as the pursuit of justice. Now they’ve replaced those initial calming soothing words they offered me and many like me with “this was a steal” and “we need a revolution” even though there is no evidence to this. I’m 40, so I’m no stranger to hypocrisy or double standards but I must admit that the level I’ve seen in the last months is nothing short of a masterclass. 

 

Still, today is not a good day for a lot of people. However, being on the other side of the equation this time around, that still doesn’t mean I feel the need to gloat, especially because I knew a version of that feeling from four years ago. Unlike 2016, I feel hopeful and to be honest, I’ve felt huge waves of relief at recent results, because for me, I see it as a chance to address a lot of my concerns regarding racial tensions, immigration, the healthcare system, and of course, the pandemic, among several other topics. I see it this way because the people voted out had their chance and their performance leaves a lot to be desired as well as a lot of things I saw from the administration. These results give me hope, because I’ve seen the behavior and response of people to these topics and I see a plan to address them rather than continue to feed fuel to all the fires. I also see a couple of things I haven’t seen in a long while, including messages of union, hope, peace, cooperation, and humility. If any of what I’m saying hits a nerve, allow me to ask why? I see people happy at victories won, but I don’t see them spitting in the face of the people they defeated to the level I saw four years ago, probably due to how it's being covered, but also possibly because there's less of it going around? Who knows? Will there always be someone who can’t help but say something unpleasant? Of course and I’ve seen no shortage of posts stating get the f out, bye Felicia, etc. Make no mistake, I share the sentiment, especially being from Puerto Rico and having seen the response in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria, but rather than doing a football touchdown dance, and gloat, I’m just relieved...and that’s all I need. But that’s there and we are here and tone deafness is a door that swings both ways so I do my best to not feed that fire and instead focus on being as constructive as I can.

It is January 20^th, 2021 and there’s a new U.S. President. Some people are happy. Some people are pissed. That’s fine as long as we get past it and focus on the tasks at hand and make no mistake, there’s a LOT to do and a LOT to address. If the last four years have taught us anything, it’s that treating politics like a team sport is a recipe for disaster and it feels as if we’ve been living in a disaster aggravated by a pandemic. My concerns from four years ago continue with new ones: What will we do about the environment? What will be done about the immigration situation and the countless broken families in internment camps and overall hostile sentiment towards immigrants looking for a better life? What will be done to improve the situation with a healthcare system that is consistently the reason people go bankrupt and that favors profit over wellness? What will be done to address racial inequality, racism, and white nationalism? What will be done to ensure safety of kids in schools? What will be done about reproductive rights and the rights of women in general and equality for all? How will families in need be helped? How will we face this pandemic to overcome it? These are all questions I care deeply about and please notice how I didn’t divide by state, nationality, race, gender, religion, political affiliation, or anything else. My concerns are universal and that’s also something that’s been in shortage for too long. 

 

Still, unlike the previous months, I see people trying to face these challenges with a plan and at least willing to hash things out to get things done and for me that is the focus. For those who insist on being upset, I’ll offer the same words I was told four years ago, give the new president a chance and have hope. The difference is that I’m not just saying this. I mean it. If the new president starts messing up, I won’t be afraid to join anyone calling him out on it because I refuse to turn a blind eye to any elected official, democrat, republican, or independent, which is way more than what I’ve seen normalized and rationalized the last 4 years and beyond. 

 

I’ve heard a lot of people say “practice what you preach” while being just as quick to not apply this phrase to themselves. People who have memorized scripture, but either haven’t internalized it or don’t see any need to apply it. I’m ready to turn the page and continue to do my best to continue to be my best because regardless of what happens and what life deals you, the only thing you have true control over is how you respond. If you are finding today difficult, ask yourself how you can turn this into a positive. Not a retaliation, not an attack, not a countermeasure, but a positive. Although no one will ever be able to say it’s easy, one thing is for sure, it’s an option, it is possible, and at least for me, I think it’s worth your time.

 

My best to you and as always…

 

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

 

JD

La vida en palabras

 

Si algo siempre he disfrutado es escribirle a Mama. Siempre mantuve la tradición de escribirle para Navidad y para su cumpleaños y aunque ciertas circunstancias cambian, algunas tradiciones se mantienen. 

 

Va año y medio desde que Mama falleció y le sigo escribiendo. Le cuento de lo que vivo y no me limito en lo que incluyo en las cartas, igual que cuando se las enviaba. Le escribo en el presente porque aunque no esté en este plano, sigue con nosotros y a menudo la siento. Aunque hablemos claro, si le escribo en el pasado de seguro me diría que me dejara de pendejaces y si me visita en un sueño mejor que sea de buenas. Hoy mi esposa y yo hicimos un tres leches a nombre suyo y brindamos con un sauvignon blanc de lo más sabroso, que de seguro le hubiese encantado y se apuntaría para una segunda o tercera copa y ahora me senté para que también viviera en mis palabras.

 

Si algo caracterizaba a Marietta Estrada, es que hacía todo con mucho amor o con el corazón y mucha gente la recuerda con mucho cariño. Durante los últimos años, se me han unido tantas personas para brindar por ella y me han dejado unirme a ellos para brindar por los suyos, en las buenas, las no tan buenas y las 2020 (vamos, podemos usarlo de adjetivo). En más de una ocasión me han preguntado que cómo sigue Mama porque sigo haciendo posts de ella y brindando por ella. Momento de lo más particular porque me toca no sólo dar la mala noticia de que falleció, sino indicarle a la persona que fue en el 2019. De seguro Mama se mea de la risa a la vez que le da pena, porque ella no disfrutaba que la gente se sintiera mal. Lo fraseo de esta manera y a menudo conjugo oraciones con Mama en el presente, porque el amor que tengo por dentro lo siento - no lo sentí. Lo vivo - no lo viví. La confusión que la gente se lleva al enterarse que Mama falleció la entiendo y hasta pido disculpas, por el mal rato, aunque les agradezco por preguntar y por escribirme, porque en realidad eso es lo que importa y conste, qué lindo ese detalle. Aún después de todo este tiempo, la gente la siente viva y cerca y no puedo imaginar mejor respuesta que eso. Significa que algo que ella hizo o que hice yo o alguien emparentado con ella caló profundo lo suficiente para hacer una marca.

 

La incluyo en mis cuentos, porque pues, la extraño y qué más cerca la puedo tener que en mis pensamientos y en mis palabras. Por eso siempre le invito a la gente a escribir del corazón, a enviar cartas, a enviar mensajes de texto, a no abreviar ni sus palabras ni sus sentimientos y compartirlo lo más posible, no sólo porque se siente bien, sino porque hasta cierto punto te hace inmortal. Mama falleció en la madrugada del 15 de junio de 2019…y aún la sienten viva. Lo más lindo de esto no es sólo que ella sigue viva, sino que invita a otros a amar un poco más, a no dejar el amor en el pasado y a encontrar las personas que aman en los pequeños detalles, no importa si acaban de irse de este plano o si han pasado años desde que partieron. Hay vida en las palabras y lo escribo no sólo porque lo creo, sino porque lo siento. Son muchos los ángeles que viven en mis palabras y es un orgullo y un gusto poder compartir un poco de Mama para que siempre quede claro que soy uno de los hijos de Marietta y que ella sigue viva. 

 

Con todo el amor y agradecimiento por compartir lo que ahora son nuestras palabras.

Un abrazo,

 

JD

Yesterday is always there

 

There are some things that feel as if they happened eons ago. Then there are some things that feel fresh and recent…as if they happened yesterday. It’s the second time we celebrate Mom’s birthday without her and although I can’t say it’s easier than the first one, I can’t say it’s harder, either. I can only say I miss her and I always will…and I know I’m not alone.

 

Mom was a singular being in so many ways and endlessly special, so it’s easy to miss her. The curious thing is that some people think it’s harder on Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or my birthday, or on a day like today, where we continue to celebrate her. Though I’ve said it before, it’s worth repeating: it isn’t harder today, than it will be tomorrow, than it was yesterday. Every day can be hard and as time passes, I’m still surprised at some of the times when she pops into mind. The most random, curious, silly little things because when you have someone you love profoundly, that love doesn’t need a huge moment or occasion, it just needs your coffee to have sugar just how she liked it, or seeing a movie that she would have enjoyed, or listened to something terrible on the radio you are 1,000% sure she would have bitched about. 

 

This also changes with the people we love. With Dad, I am reminded of him when I myself laugh out loud and realize that a version of his laughter lives in my belly. With my Grandfather, it’s in the spicy food I eat, the old Cuban music I sometimes come across, a great boxing fight, or the places where my hair is thinning. With Tata (my grandmother) it’s in the textures of certain things, certain flavors or temperatures of foods she liked, or when I see a woman with a short hairstyle that reminds me of her, be it from the pictures where it showed just how stunningly beautiful she was in her youth, or as I knew her, an elegantly beautiful woman with impeccable hands and a timeless smile.

 

Love has many definitions and many expressions, and one of those expressions is in how we remember and pay tribute to the ones we love. I shall always write with my heart first (which possibly explains why I have to fix so many verb tenses when I’m editing). I do so in part because Mom quite often led with her heart. Although I love all the stories of her generosity, nothing beats seeing a room light up because she arrived. She had that magic in her. I can see it clearly, closer than yesterday, because those memories live on. I see the things she planted in me and my brothers, I see my nephews and curious moments of kindness that are a combination of our Mom, their own parents, and what they bring to the table. I hear stories of how some people miss her because she would always listen to them when they needed a kind ear and she offered the best advice…something I do my utmost to carry on that legacy with whatever I can bring to a conversation. I get messages from time to time from someone who thought of Mom because they met someone from Cuba and people have been generous in letting me know when they dream of Mom. I’ve had readers focus on the character of Mrs. Fawn and tell me she’s their favorite…and I always smile, because that’s Mom and she is the favorite of a lot of people, each with their own reason, each with several stories. 

 

I’ll always miss you Mom and that feeling shall always be near, because even if yesterday is always there, just out of reach, your love keeps us company, because you are always here. Cheers to you, today, and every day. 

 

Peace, love, and sauvignon blanc.

2021: A conquistar libreros

Como autor, hay muchos sueños que tenemos por dentro. Entre ellos está el que los lectores miren un espacio libre en su librero y digan, necesito llenarlo…y que tu nombre y tus libros sean lo primero que se les ocurra para llenar ese vacío.

Llevo 7 años publicado y en ese tiempo, he podido traer del éter al mundo 6 colecciones de poesía, 3 novelas, 1 colección de cuentos cortos, 1 colección bilingüe de cuentos cortos, poesía y ensayos, 2 libros de no-ficción y 2 libros bajo un proyecto especial llamado Blanc Comics. Aparte de esto, he podido escribir cuentos cortos y poemas que se han incluido en otras colecciones compartiendo en página con autores de alrededor del mundo y lo he logrado en inglés y español. He participado en eventos en los EE. UU. y en Puerto Rico y siempre es un placer conectar con lectores de todas las edades. 

 

Ahora que entramos en un nuevo año, son muchos los proyectos y muchas las metas que tengo como autor, creador y ser humano (incluso, algunos dirían que también soy músico así que a ver qué inventamos en el año). Lo interesante es que hay una meta central y lo es conectar. Como escritor, uno de mis grandes placeres es saber que alguien lleva uno de mis libros a leer a algún sitio, que una colección de poesía conectó con alguien en el momento correcto y que algo que salió de mí conectó con algo que reside en cada lector. Es bien bonito y he tenido un mar de bendiciones y continúo teniéndolas a diario. Sí, hay días en donde hay un poco más de letargo y la motivación no aparece ni por los centros espiritistas…ahora hay días que me siento que puedo conquistar el mundo una palabra a la vez, sea a través de mis ensayos, relatos, poemas o cada vez que dedico un libro o conecto con lectores y escritores en línea. Esa conexión me llena, da propósito y valida lo que hago sea en las redes sociales, en mis libros o en otras cosas que hago, sea para apoyar causas benéficas o ayudar a un amigo. En fin, aunque cambie la manera, lo que importa es conectar. Como estamos haciendo en este escrito. 

 

Así que sea sólo por este blog o si soy parte de tu colección de libros físicos o digitales, gracias por dejarme conectar contigo. Si has reseñado mis libros y le has contado a otros de mis ocurrencias ya sea las aventuras del agente 00 Bananas o mis libros, gracias. Luego de un año en donde vivimos tanto y tuvimos que adaptarnos constantemente, tengo tantas cosas para dar gracias y pues, lo único que quiero es tener la manera de hacerlo un poco más…o bastante más, vamos que los sueños no son para disfrutar de a poco o a medias. La vida es para vivirla, los sueños para cosecharlos y los libreros…pues para conquistarlos.

Si quieres que mis libros sean parte de tu colección, visita la tienda de Tazas y Portadas o búscame en Amazon. Vienen más inventos, más proyectos y más maneras de conectar, así que pendiente. 

 

Un fuerte abrazo y feliz 2021. 

2021 – A Second Wind

It’s curious, every year at the beginning of the year I write a post summing up the prior year and what I expect to do in the new year. I also have a feeling, a word, a phrase or mantra I take on to help me focus…Last year? I wasn’t able to write that beginning of the year post. Not in January, not in June, never. As in, I was just not able to. I couldn’t see clearly what I wanted to do or how I wanted to go about it…2019 hit me on several levels and in several areas and it was just hard to focus and find any firm ground to stand on…and then came that little thing about the virus that screwed up the world in 2020.   

So yeah, last year was a bunch of things, a lot of randomness, and who knows if that inability to focus was a projection of what we would experience collectively during the year that expressed itself as static in my inner sonar. Fortunately, although 2020 was a dumpster fire for a lot of people, I was extremely fortunate to keep my job, not have a pay cut, and work from home. Quite a trifecta of blessings as well as staying healthy throughout the year as I also learned to navigate these odd waters. 

 

Now we’re beginning a new year and unlike 2020, I have a clear vision of a LOT of things I want to do, retake, begin, and finish. I feel motivated, more optimistic than I had been for several months, and focused. It’s been a while since I felt that way and I’m going to run with it, hence the title of this post – A Second Wind. I’ll continue to work from home and take any and all precautions I can to ensure me and my peeps are well and stay healthy. 

 

As for goals, there are a couple of things in the pipeline but rather than list a long list in a specific order, I’ll mention the categories and push to be my best and show how many things I can accomplish. I won’t set a specific number and just go for it all around.

 

1. Writing – I’ve had a hard time publishing many works the last two years. 2021 will be the polar opposite. I have several projects in process including short story collections, poetry collections, and novels. It’s going to be a busy year, I’m choosing my first targets for those projects and will push hard to start tackling full projects rather than just chipping away at the block. 

 

2. Interviews – last year was a lot of fun to do Creative Connections and this year I shall continue that trend, because I think we all have a lot to offer and people are looking for fellow authors, editors, photographers, designers, audiobook producers, and beyond, and if this humble little blog can serve as a bridge, then why not?

 

3. Music – one of my outlets last year was music and I even wrote and recorded videos for new songs (you can check these out by clicking here). Expect more of this…and more music related adventures.

 

4. Supporting Go Indie Now – For years I’ve been reviewing indie music and participating in several live shows, panels, interviews on Go Indie Now. This trend shall continue because Joe Compton is family, I believe in him and his work, and am always happy to shine light on musicians, books, and other indie offerings that depend on word of mouth to succeed. So this is my invitation for you to check out Go Indie Now and the back catalogue of videos related to all things indie. Drop comments on the videos and if there is indie music you’d like me to review, comment on the channel and let your voice be heard.

 

5. Collections, magazines, interviews featuring yours truly. The last two years I’ve been able to have short stories included in collections from Puerto Rican and Hispanic authors. It’s been an honor to be featured in No Cierres los Ojos 2 and now in Proyecto Cthulu. My goal is to continue this trend, see what collections draw my attention and go for it, whether it’s in English or Spanish. 

 

6. Más español – although this blog is predominantly in English, expect more Spanish offerings here, in my books, and on my BookTube/AuthorTube channel :D

 

7. Supporting good causes – Last year I was able to make donations to the Puerto Rico Food Bank, the Atlanta Community Food Bank, World Central Kitchen, Breast Cancer Research, One Fair Wage, the EB Research Partnership, and a couple of other private causes of friends that needed help. This year, I’ll continue my support although I will do it much more focused on specific causes per quarter. So starting for the first quarter, I’ll be supporting the Puerto Rico Food Bank again (Banco de Alimentos de Puerto Rico). Expect efforts from here until March 31^st and more information later for events for the rest of the year. 

 

8. Reading – Once again I’ve set my goal for 44 books in the new year. I achieved this goal for 2020 and reviewed every single book in at least 2 websites, and often in up to 5 places because it’s important to spread the word. I’ll always keep it honest though, because that is essential in everything I do. 

  

9. Social media – I’ll keep enjoying myself and having fun, though this year I’ll try and be more vocal in regards to asking for help and support, something I rarely do. Social media is an illusion in regards to progress/success, but it can have an amazing impact. I’m on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube and with a little support, I can make a better impact with whatever success I have. 

 

10. Enjoying myself more. If you’re not having fun, then what are you doing? I’ll continue having as much fun as possible and hopefully you can join in. 

 

As always, thanks for reading and for spending some of your valuable time sharing words with your friendly neighborhood JD Estrada. Here’s to a good year, to doing our best, giving our best, taking care of each other, dropping egos, and elevating others, because I think that’s a way better alternative. 

 

Peace, love, and maki rolls

 

JD