The Tale of 42

Beyond 365 days (occasionally 366), what’s in a year? There are ups, downs, segues, side roads, detours, dead ends, adjustments, long hauls, short bursts, bright moments, dark times, and everything in between. We so often try to capture what happened in that year, yet the reality is that for however good our memory is, even with a journal, we’ll miss things or misremember things.

Year 42 was actually a very good year. It had some very important and necessary life and career changes, it had two new books and progress in others, it had good food, great company, and me finding my ground again, after a shaky ride in my 41st year. Yet somehow, last year I forgot to write a birthday post...and I just fully realized this by checking my backlog on the blog.

It’s curious because for me, posts like this are important and it’s also curious because I do tend to overthink and overstress when I miss something for whatever reason. And I didn't even remember. In the last year, I’ve made several events and I’ve had to cancel a few. I’ve pivoted, I’ve improvised, I’ve said “screw it, I’m doing this because I want to,” and I’ve also said, “screw it, I don’t want to do this because I don’t want to.” I've also said no, because I couldn't, and that's OK too.

Thinking about last year, I think it makes sense that I didn’t write about it because I was still in the middle of a journey of sorts. Of relearning, of unlearning, of forgiving, of speaking kindly to myself, of challenging false narratives, and highlighting truths that we tend to overlook because negative events and things tend to weigh a bit more and actually bring us down.

If it sounds like it’s been a bit intense, well it’s because it has been. There’s been a lot of lessons yet also a lot of enjoying and plenty of smile. I’m still in the process of clearing up a few things in my path, though I have a better idea of things I want to do, things I don’t care for, and things I will continue to work on, because life is a continuous stream.

It doesn’t matter if we confuse the year of something funny or memorable that happened. It’s important to remember the event and how it made us feel. That’s because memory is the one type of story-telling we all share. Yes, even those who say they aren’t creative and can’t write a story. We can talk about how false that is later, but yes, even you tell stories through memories. 

And that’s more important than you can even begin to imagine.

Because it means you’re in control of your story. 

I’m not saying to fabricate things, even though we all have those friends with tall tales that are as plausible as pigs suddenly learning how to fly. I’m saying that life happens and it’s always up to us the light we use to remember things by. 

For years, I’ve focused on trying to use every experience as either inspiration or a learning experience and in the last year and a half, that has included reframing some pretty intense times I’ll write about later. Yet I was able to. I was able to mine silver linings where you would only think to find a septic tank. I’ve been able to learn new things in my 40s that I’m sure will be with me until the day that I die and it was a kind reminder that there’s so much to live, learn, enjoy, share and be thankful for.

So here’s to finding any and all means to always be able to quote Monty Python and sing, Always look on the bright side of life.

Thanks for joining me for a new year and here's to all the stories and lessons ahead. Bring on 43.

Peace, love, and birthday cake

At peace with a goodbye

Four years ago, Mom passed away.

 

During her last days with us, my brothers and I took turns staying with her at the hospital. We knew it was nearing time and we wanted to be with her and each of us poured our love for her as we often did, because that is our way. I was with her on the night she passed away and when I came to switch places with my brother, we both kind of knew it would be that night

 

Some people have asked me, how do you get ready for something like that? And all I’m sure of is that the answer will change from person to person, because what your heart dictates is unique to you.

I’d been in touch with my brothers and I had that feeling, so I did my best to get ready for that evening. I would take some books to read. I would talk to her. And sometime during the day, I got the notion in my head that I needed to write her something...So I got on the computer and wrote a short story.

 

For a frame of reference, it was like one of my Daydreams but in Spanish. In the story, I kind of guide her to her happiest moments and bring in person after person to send her off not with tears but with smiles. I bring in special people that had meant the world to her and described her at peace, a bit surprised, but at peace. In the story, me and my brothers took her along a little tour and led her to a place where there was a rainbow bridge. I wrote that all the dogs were waiting for her along with her Mom and Dad and that she could go in peace, because we would be OK. I also wrote that she did absolutely brilliant and that if at any point we cry, it’s for the right reasons, but that we’d continue to say cheers with love and keeping her present always with plenty of smiles in tow, as was her way.

 

I cried all the way as I wrote the story and I’m fully aware I did it for her as much as I did it for myself. So often in life, I can only make sense of life and what I’m feeling through what I write, and this was no exception. I finished the story, printed it, and took it with me to the hospital.

 

When I got there, I saw my brother and we exchanged that look of knowing. I gave him a hug and told him she’d be fine and that I’d be in touch. To not worry and try to get some rest. I love both of my brothers and I’m proud to be an Estrada boy because of Mom and because of them.

 

My brother leaves and I take a breath, smile, and turn around to say hi to Mom. I let her know I brought a bunch of things to read and share and that I was just there to hang out. I knew she wasn’t feeling that great and that was OK. I just wanted to let her know that if she so happened to want to shut all of us up and miraculously recover, we wouldn’t mind one bit. I also told her that if she wanted to stay a bit longer, that was OK too. Finally, I did mention that if she wanted to leave that night, that was also fine. I was there and would do my best to keep her company.

 

I spoke to her with as much gentle love I could. I wanted my voice to be as soothing as possible, again, for her as well as for me. I talked to her so much that night...about everything and nothing. I told her so many random things just to chat. I played her some of her favorite music as well as some tracks I’d found that were helping me a lot and I thought they could help her too. I read poetry to her and some of my essays. Then I pulled out the new story and apologized for the typos and things that I could improve, but that I did want to share that first draft with her. I kissed her head often, and stroked her hand, and did my best to let my love flow to her gently and freely. I wanted to stay awake though eventually, the long day got to me, so I went to sleep holding her hand a bit after midnight.

 

Sometime around two in the morning, I wake up and I feel her breathing’s changed. I’ve never been in a situation like that, but out of instinct I knew it was her moment so I stood next to her, took her hand in mine and told her it was alright. I did my best to soothe her, to comfort her, to hopefully help guide her to the light, and even cracked a joke that I hoped I wasn’t talking too much or being too annoying. I told her how good of a mother she always was and how much of me had been molded by that love. I thanked her for everything. I told her, “If you see a light and want to go there, it’s OK. We’ll be OK.”

 

I felt her breathing becoming more short and intense and I still held onto her hand, being there but not wanting to crowd her. Her breathing started coming in slower gasps and I held onto her, saying I’d be with her there and always. Slower she breathed and I held her throughout, never squeezing, just being there, and letting her go on her terms and when she was ready.

 

I don’t know how long that moment truly lasted. Could have been five minutes or an hour. Doesn’t matter. What matters is that I was fortunate enough to have the honor to be there and do my best to show her the love that will stay alive as long as I live.I said, "You were beautiful, you were beautiful," until I finally corrected myself and said, "You are beautiful."

 

It’s been four years though parts of me feel like it was yesterday. I don’t think that feeling will ever go away either, by the way. Part of me shall always be open to keep her alive and present because spiritually and genetically, she is a part of me. I feel her from time to time. I feel how she joins in a celebration or to soothe and comfort me. It feels like yesterday, because in some way or another, she’ll always be there because I make that choice every day to keep her present. 

 

So, to the question of how you say goodbye to someone you love, your answer may be a little different, and that’s how it should be, but here’s mine:

 

With as much love as you can...and always leaving the door open.

 

Mama, te amo and we’ll be toasting to you in a bit and actually any chance we get.

 

To you dear reader, who were kind enough to read this, my love to you and thank you for helping me keep Mom alive through these and many other words. If you're going through a hard time, I wish peace upon you and to call on those angels in your life, because they're always there for you. Trust me.

 

Peace, love, and Cheers Mama Estrada

Right turn: A #CheersMamaEstrada Post

I think about Mom often. Sometimes I wonder what she’d think of the world as it stands and the things that are happening. But if I’m honest, more often than not, I wonder what random bits of conversation we’d stumble into during our countless chats.

 

We talked so much and I continue to talk to her every single day. I’ve spoken about how I still write letters to her, letting her know about all the adventures I’ve been experiencing, and when it comes to my books, either the final proof or the first copy of each continues to be kept for her. If you’ve seen my socials, you see that I continue to say Cheers Mama Estrada at every opportunity and you should know that I toast to her and to our family every single time I raise a glass.

 

During this week, I’ve thought about Mom a lot and I remembered the time I spent with her at the hospital among countless other memories. Like many patients, she had her ups and downs. Throughout all of that, I did all I could to put a smile on her face and spend time with her.

 

I also remember when she took a turn for the worse.

 

I think about these days because the hospital had a chapel and I remembered how I always meant to go to pray for Mom. The funny thing is that as soon as I got to the hospital and literally came to the crossroads where I could turn left to go to the chapel or go right to go straight to Mom, I always turned right.

 

Always.

 

Consciously, subconsciously, out of instinct, or what have you, something pulled me that way.

 

Mom left me a treasure trove of love and memories and from her I learned that every second, every shared moment, and every bit of contact are all gifts. She left me riches to last a lifetime and I remember her in big moments as well as small ones. There’s magic in those small moments and I invite you to have as many of them as you can with the people you love. Be generous with your small talk. Be abundant with silly phone calls about trivial things. Find the magic in the every-day things you’d normally overlook, because when it comes to someone you love, nothing is trivial.

 

There are many angels that light our lives. If some have passed, it’s OK. Share a cup of coffee or tea with them. They’ll appreciate it. If they’re still around, look for any excuse to get in touch and talk about silly little things that will stay with you for the rest of your life. It'll always be the right call. Because when you add love to any recipe or experience, that’s when you begin to understand the beginnings of forever.

 

Peace, love, and Cheers Mama Estrada

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Si tú te creías que yo no venía...

Saludos, mi gente y comencemos una semana de ¡PURO Comic Con! Este viernes estaremos de vuelta en el Centro de Convenciones para el Puerto Rico Comic Con del 7 al 9 de abril. Esta será mi séptima vez en el Comic Con mientras también celebro mi décimo aniversario como autor publicado.

 

Como saben, marzo fue un mes bien fuego a la lata con dos libros nuevos: el segundo volumen de los Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore y Penumbra, mi primera colección de cuentos oscuros en español. Estoy muy orgulloso de ambos libros y está muy curioso que publique el libro más oscuro e intenso y el libro más dulce de mi carrera a la misma vez. 

 

Las portadas, de show y estoy muy complacido con el contenido. Espero que se los disfruten. Además, tuve la Marcha de los escritores en donde desarrollé temas para hacer posteos para cada día en el mes de marzo y tengo que quitarme el sombrero a todos los amantes de las letras de PR que le metieron con todo. Se lucieron y espero que se lo hayan gozado. Aparte de eso, pues muchas más aventuras de la vida.

 

Eso dicho, me siento como todo un súper saiyajin que le dieron con TODO durante el mes de marzo. Ya que lo superamos, vamos a llegar a un súper nivel porque lo que viene este wikén es pura gozaera. Estaremos en el exhibidor 134 y abajo les comparto el mapa para que me encuentren.

 

Además, ¡LIBROS NUEVOS!

 

Penumbra Cuentos oscuros

Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore 2

Como siempre, tendré MUCHOS OTROS TÍTULOS DISPONIBLES, aunque ojo, CANTIDADES LIMITADAS así que asegúrate darte la vuelta por el exhibidor tempranito.

 

Hay muchas ganas de verlos y espero que de aquí hasta el fin de semana tengan una semana bonita para cerrarla con broche de oro.

 

Un abrazo,

 

JD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nice to dream you - Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore 2 is here

I’ve been promising the follow-up to 2015’s Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore for a while now...and I can finally share with you the cover for Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore 2.

A draemy project

When I wrote the first Daydream book I was pretty much discovering what the project was and what it would be for me and anyone who would give themselves the chance to have a daydream or three. I included people I knew and then when I wrote one particular short story, it became a fantastical way of sending a get-well card. And it continued to grow and evolve until what it has become.

The stories within Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore 2 continue to explore the land of Draem, one of several countries within the Lucid. Stories this time around are much bigger and although these are independent stories, it’s best to read them in sequence, even if they aren’t necessarily chapters. Think of each short story much more along the lines of being an episode in your favorite show or cartoon. Each story is meant to fill up more and more of the map of Draem and the Lucid.

Closer look at the cover 

 

 

If you’re wondering who’s riding that Dragon Teapot locomotive, then wonder no further: IT ME. In these stories, I go on adventures with people I know from all around the world who have agreed to go with me on a daydream. We then get up to all sorts of quirky and whimsical adventures in stories that are meant to soothe and let you escape from life for a little while.

The locomotive on the cover is actually the Falcori, a shapeshifting dragon ship that can take to the skies, the slopes, the rails, and all manner of terrain to help us get from one point to the next. He shifts shape and is such a kind friend in all our stories that he definitely deserved to be on the cover of this second installment.

As for the flying light bulbs, those are some of my ideas that got caught in the cover (they also appear in some of my stories).

Speaking of which, if you like this cover, please check out Melissa Lettis. Although sometimes I am crystal clear on what I want for a cover, this was an instance where I was lost and needed help big time. Working with Melissa, she not only set my mind at ease, she helped me talk things out until we landed on something that would capture the spirit of this project. Seeing as the sketch transformed into a layout and then into a cover was wonderful and I credit this cover for rekindling my love for this project to give it the love it needed to make each daydream shine.


I also want to give a special shoutout to fellow author Mike Jack Stoumbos, from The Writing Tribe group from facebook. At one moment I was lost with this project and he took it upon himself to help me find the right artist. Ever thankful for his generous nature and perfect proof that the writing community is there for each other.

As for the Back Cover...

 

 

At the top left, you’ll see a large building shaped like an orange...which is actually the Mandarin Museum, one of several new locations we explore in detail. So, if you’re looking for something to escape Raelity for a while and to warm up with the coming Spring, then by all means, take this as your invitation to dream a little Draem.

Peace, love, and daydreams

Marcha de los escritores día 20: Curiosidades como escritor

El tema de hoy es para compartir detallitos curiosos de ti como escritor. 

Aquí te comparto 5 de los míos y a ver cuán diferentes me salen a los de inglés.

1. Escribo mayormente en inglés. Aunque soy puertorriqueño y mi primer idioma es el español, sólo tengo dos de mis veinte libros que son en español. Aunque finalmente me siento más cómodo escribiendo en español, por mucho tiempo he tenido complejo y no he estado seguro de mis habilidades como escritor en español fuera de lo profesional ya que MUCHO de lo que he trabajado en mi carrera profesional ha sido en español. Por suerte, ya me he soltado y con Penumbra, el mensaje es claro: prepara tu librero :)

2. Nunca he tomado un curso de escribir. Estudié psicología, publicidad y mercadeo y nunca he tomado ni un taller de escribir. Todo lo que he logrado como autor ha sido autodidacta y a pulmón. Por MUCHOS años escribí en un blog y eso me ayudó más de lo que te imaginas. El detalle es que AMO escribir. Claro que quiero fama, dinero y éxito, ahora ante todo AMO escribir y es una parte integral de quién soy.

3. Incluyo muchos personajes basados en personas de mi vida. Mrs. Fawn se basa en Mama. Captain Jane se basa en mi esposa. Fäet es mi representación literaria. Así hay un montón de personajes y siempre es divertido tener a la gente adivinando quién es de mi vida y quién es de mi imaginación.

4. El nombre Odstein es recurrente en mis obras como el apellido de Fäet. Por si no lo sabías: Fäet = Fate y Odstein = Destino ;)

5. Me encanta incluir detallitos y tributos a música y artistas. En español muchos de los capítulos y personajes de Penumbra salieron o fueron influencia directa de la música de Robi Draco Rosa.

Y ahí tienes 5 curiosidades. ¿Qué te parecen? Y ¿Cuáles son algunas de las tuyas?

Espero que te estés gozando la Marcha de los escritores. Un fuerte abrazo.

JD

March of the Writers Day 20: Quirkety Quirk

I actually haven’t used the blog to explore a prompt yet for this year's March of the Writers, which is so odd lol. Fortunately, I think this is a great one for that. 

 As a writer I have several quirks, but instead of exploring them all, here are 5:

1. I write most of my work by hand and later transcribe. There’s something beautifully intimate about writing by hand, even with the challenges it brings. Namely, my handwriting. Plainly put, it isn’t great and definitely is a challenge in regards to legibility, although it is an interesting exercise because it forces me to start editing. Also, Fun fact: Only Human took 6 notebooks of varying sizes.

2. Different size papers. Sometimes to get the right feel for what I'm writing I switch up the size of the paper I’m using to write on. Although I love composition notebooks and find them extremely comfortable, I’ve known to switch to legal notepads, sticky notes, and notebooks of all sorts of sizes. It’s curious how it impacts the writing. For instance, small paper FORCES you to be concise, while long-winding papers can do the opposite. I seriously recommend you give it a go because you don't know if something can work until you give it a go.

3. Different writing materials. I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again. I write poetry/lyrics in pencil, non-fiction and short prose in blue/black ink, and prose in red ink, although I’ve taken to use other colors and it’s been super refreshing. Again, it's all about mixing it up.

4. Love writing during flights. I used to love writing during long appointments but post pandemic things have definitely changed. I do still enjoy writing during long flights because I have no interest in wi-fi at 35,000 ft :)

5. I sometimes write with my non-dominant hand. I’ve journaled and written short verses or inspirational texts with my left hand. It actually improves your handwriting, and forces you to breathe and slow down, something I DEFINITELY need from time to time and you might need as well.

And there are PLENTY more where those came from, but those are my five for today :)

How about you? What are some of your writing quirks? What did you think of mine? 

Peace, love, and maki rolls

Lo prometido es deuda – llega Penumbra

Por años me llevan preguntando si voy a publicar algo en español.

Por años he dicho que "ya mismo".

Ya puedo cambiar la contestación.

El "ya mismo" se ha convertido en AHORA y les presento: Penumbra – Cuentos Oscuros

6 cuentos cortos + 1 novela corta.

Todo oscuro.

Si se preguntan porque el tono oscuro, le pueden dar las gracias a mis amigos de Libros Eikon que cuando me invitaron a contribuir a No Cierres los Ojos 2. Algo soltó en mí que aunque me sospechaba que estaba ahí, no es lo mismo sospechar que verlo en acción. Doy las más sinceras gracias a mis colegas por la invitación y el apoyo.

La portada fue diseñada por la gran Karelys Luna, una de mis vecinas en el comic con y una amiga artista con talento de sobra. Si quieren conocer más de ella, en confianza visiten su página aquí.

De la colección, hubo mucha inspiración del Viejo San Juan ya que me crié ahí pasando mucho tiempo en las tiendas de mi abuelo y mi madre, además de mis años formativos de janguear en un sinnúmero de locales. Además, hubo inspiración de algunos de mis autores favoritos incluyendo HP Lovecraft y Neil Gaiman.

Por mucho tiempo he prometido algo en español y espero que disfruten Penumbra. Ahora, no es lo único que viene en español, así que pendientes. Pero por ahora, si son de los que disfrutan leer algo un poco oscuro para que el sueño no le llegue, pues adéntrense en la Penumbra.

Ah, y para los que quieran una copia firmada...nos vemos en el Puerto Rico Comic Con.

Pronto les cuento más, por ahora...

Un abrazo,

JD