Lines of life or a lifeline

Last week a lovely fellow author lost her battle with mental illness and depression. I wasn’t that close to her but I did know her and I can tell you that every time we wrote each other was a positive experience and she was several shades of lovely.

And now she’s gone.

If you don’t get anything else from this post, please get the phone number below. It may save a life… even yours.

The National Suicide Prevention hotline 1-800-273-8255

Sonya Craig is one of several lovely people who have lost their battles to inner demons and it is alarming how common this has become… but I don’t want the usual to happen, which is for people to be dulled by the frequency of these events to the point where they almost become numb to them.

There have been way too many people who have taken their life in their hands and ended it and it is heartbreaking. In these times when people who loved these victims are trying to cope, the last thing that should come from anyone’s mouth is that these people were selfish or that they’re going to hell for committing suicide and pardon me, but that’s one of the few stances I won’t budge on.

The level of mental and physical anguish people go through is monumental and to many people they might seem fine. Great hair, great physique, successful, but beneath all that is a bruised soul… sometimes it’s fractured… and other times it’s broken beyond repair. High profile names abound but when you see someone whom you can relate to, a fellow author, writer, human… someone who has dreams yet a life, a life with great moments… and in one bad turn, they’re gone.

As time passes, I realize that these wonderful people fall into traps of pride (I can get myself out of this), fear (I don’t want people to think less of me), and guilt (I don’t want to be a burden). Each of these can be fatal. For these people, life is pain or the pain of life becomes unbearable, which is why many of these people find a purpose and actually make a difference. If you search the hashtag #ThankYouSonya on social media you can see what I mean.

Sure I could mention Robin Williams or Chris Cornell, two super high profile people, wonderful people, beloved and beyond talented who took their lives for different reasons. Some people feel the temptation to call it a waste of a life. I can understand that sentiment but it’s no time to pass judgment. You did not walk in their shoes. You do not know what they endured. You cannot believe what it takes for a decision like that to be made and I hope you never do.

More than anything though, this post is for anyone who has these types of thoughts and by some odd chance came across this page. My name is JD Estrada, I’m an indie author, and I care. I cannot solve your problems but I put a telephone number above that may help you. If you have dangerous thoughts, call that number. Please. Don’t wait until the morning. Don’t make a 3 month plan. Act right now. Take control of your life in a positive way. I know it hurts. I know it’s a shit. I also see the news. I also can’t make sense of all the madness. I have no idea why people can so easily hurt other people. I don’t know why women are not treated equally. I don't know why gender can inspire fear and hate and intolerance the way it does. I don’t know why black people are targeted. I don’t understand why Hispanics, Asians, and other minorities are considered less. I don’t know why that person left you. I don’t know why that person you care about so much doesn’t care back. But I do know one thing. You matter. You really do and if you think you don’t, I want you to know that I’m betting on you. I believe in you no matter the odds because I’ve seen people make the decision to live and gone to change the lives of dozens, hundreds, thousands, and even millions of people. Humans with stories to share and words to capture that inner magic we all have inside if we decide to embrace it. This moment of anguish, this pain, it may be intense, but it is energy, and energy cannot be created or destroyed, but transformed. Ending a life does not end energy but it does erase the potential for change for the better. Ending a life turns the potential for world changing energy to more pain and trust me, please trust me, I know it hurts, but we have enough pain. Let not pride detain you. Let not fear deter you. Let not guilt rob you of the opportunity of saving a life, because I promise you this. If you save your life, you can save another, and another. Just for making one decision. The choice is yours. The judgment of others matters not. Only the choice. Your choice. And I do hope that if these words found you, that they helped sway you in favor of making a difference. If not. I’m sorry I couldn’t do any more, but know that at least one person will not judge you… I’ll root for you til the end, but I won’t judge you. We learn nothing from judging. Not a goddamn thing. But we learn everything from living and choosing to live.

May the light of your deepest well shine bright… for we need it.

#ThankYouSonya

Peace, love, and maki rolls.