As we all cope with the new normal which isn’t very normal, a lot of people are dealing with different struggles. Mental, physical, and emotional health are all being put to the test and anyone who was navigating turbulent waters at the beginning of the year has hit a massive rip current thanks to the current situation and is now doing what is needed to keep their head above water. Although a lot of people have the benefit of navigating those challenges in a private setting, Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer do not have this luxury.
Firstly, some people might say that whatever they’re going through was brought about by how each side handled their situation. That’s some high-horse talking if I ever heard it, yet it’s still out there and I do understand where someone could be coming from. That doesn't change the fact there there is an overabundance of people pulling no punches and using their situation and problems as fodder to get clicks, likes, retweets, or what have you. Unfortunately, there are also a LOT of people seriously stepping beyond boundaries, attacking on a personal level, and truly showing a side of humanity that is as distasteful as it gets.
It’s not that I’m ignorant in regards to what social media and the Internet are capable of, it’s that I work hard to avoid toxicity and I do my best to put out stuff that hopefully makes people smile, chuckle, think, or get the idea to try and do something kind for someone else, because why not? It’s a very idealistic approach to social media and it does have lapses because some things just frustrate me to no end and I feel the need to either vent or share my opinion (as if it matters) if only so it doesn’t fester within… But I try to make sure that anything I share today is something I can respond to if questioned about in a year or twenty. That said, the entire dynamic of Amanda and Neil during this problematic time might be a compelling read for some, but it’s been fodder to offer some nasty comments that you can’t help but be taken aback by. People attacking Neil and Amanda directly, people punching down and kicking people when they’re down and it reminds me of what you often hear referred to as “the price of fame.”
Some people might ask why Amanda shared X or Y post airing dirty laundry. A lot of people will continue to speculate as to what led to Neil leaving New Zealand and the sequence of events that led to what happened or what is happening now. Although I get why it’s so compelling a narrative, I don’t get how people can so casually throw damaging comments as if people don’t have feelings or with no consideration that there is also a child getting caught in the crossfire.
If you take away the fame, it’s the same when there’s a divorce or a couple break up or whatever other personal situation people are going through that bleeds out into public. People chime in as if they have a say on the personal lives of others and as if they know what’s happening. I’ve always been of the mind that for the most part, other people’s business is not mine. For me, I know of Amanda and Neil for their art. When I learned they’d gotten married, I thought it was an interesting combination and when they had a kid I felt happy for them. But the extent of my interaction with either is severely limited to put it lightly.
I am on Amanda Palmer’s Patreon, have enjoyed her work in the Dresden Dolls and as a solo artist and think she’s quirky, intense, genuine, passionate, extremely outspoken, and intense (said twice from what I perceive). My interaction with her is limited to an exchange of tweets last year where I chimed in on my opinion as an independent creator, Patreon, etc. She replied in detail, gave me her full attention for 5 minutes, and she kept on being the whirling dervish she is answering other people earnestly. I was thankful that she took the time to respond and not offer a boiler plate answer but an honest answer where it showed it came from the heart and not from pre-approved bullet points.
I’ve been a fan of Neil Gaiman ever since I came across the Sandman series and he’s the author whom I’ve read the most. I often mention him as an influence and as someone whom I respect for the work he’s done and how he’s done it. Think about it, is there any other author who has been as hands-on in adaptations of his work and who has gotten better results? When it comes to his work, be it in comics, writing, or movies, there is love and respect to the craft and the medium which is being explored. I can only hope to have the chance to do work of that caliber one day. As a human, I also respect the support he offers to the causes that mean a lot to him. The extent of my interaction with Neil is having him retweet when I put my first novel for free recently because of the difficulties he had with Net Galley. Thanks to that retweet, hundreds of people downloaded my book and I do hope they enjoyed it. Not sure if he was among the people who downloaded the book and that’s not the point. He often does acts of kindness because he felt inclined to do so and I followed that lead.
Neither Neil or Amanda had to even acknowledge me, yet they did in their own way and I appreciate that and their work. The accusations they have to face from time to time are definitely eye opening in regards to what was mentioned above, the so called “price of fame.” Getting into details would be beside the point though, because the point is that these are two people who are dealing with what they have to deal with and in the end, family is the most important thing. That’s because after the money, the art, and the fire, there is only Ash… and that’s what matters the most.
My best to Neil, Amanda, and their zombie-loving treasure.
Peace, love, maki rolls, and kindness
