Yesterday I learned that a fellow member of the indie community took his life last week. Although I’ve known of people who have committed suicide, this is the most I’ve known someone and if it’s hard for me to wrap my head around it, I can’t imagine people who were close to him and his family.
This is a post with me trying to sort what I feel about someone whom I knew and who is now gone. The fact is that although I liked him, we weren’t that close. My inbox was always open if he wanted to chat and we kept in touch, though it was far from being joined at the hip. Even so, I find it extremely upsetting because I don’t think anyone deserves to feel that way or reach that point, yet it happens way more often than it should. He had talent, wit, and could definitely be intense, though my experience with him was always positive and as I mentioned before, I liked the guy.
Different people will respond to a situation like this with anger, sadness, frustration, and a variety of feelings. Some will hurt because they might feel they didn’t reach out in time or didn’t do enough to help. Some will want to punch a wall and say he was selfish. Some will be left wondering what the hell happened. People will also speculate over what led to him taking that action. All of these are understandable responses yet none will bring him back and nothing anyone says or does from now on can bring back any person who has passed away.
He was here one moment…and the next he was gone.
But today is here and if you’re reading this, you’re here today and can pick to be here tomorrow. Mental health is a fragile thing. Especially during these times. This blog and writing in general have helped me sort through some tough situations in life. Music also helps, as does exercise, as does doing a variety of things in the pursuit of happiness and the attempt at balance. But I have had to ask for help before and didn’t think twice about it. Pride could have gotten in the way, but there’s a time and a place for pride, and when you’re struggling, that is a time to set pride aside and forget concepts like shame or embarrassment. If you need help, ask for help. If one door doesn’t open, go to another, and another, and another, and as many as you need. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m not saying it won’t hurt. I’m not saying it’ll make sense and all will be wonderful. But you’ll still have a chance to find another smile, make a difference, and find meaning.
Some people lose touch with their meaning, their purpose, and even their will to live. Judging these people won’t bring them back, make you stronger, or superior. Some people will offer a shoulder to cry on, some people will do their best to offer to help, or help them get help. Sometimes it’ll make the difference and it’ll work and we’ll avoid a sad loss…other times it won’t.
Last week, a lot of people lost someone they cared about. For a lot of people, someone is gone…but we aren’t.
We’re here today…and that being the case, we can call or write someone we love, help someone out, or ask for help. Too often pride gets in the way of that and we should never feel ashamed to ask for help if we need to.
The number to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 / 1-800-273-TALK. If you need it, use it. Talk. If you need help, ask for help, by any means. You can feel embarrassed later and we can talk about it over a cup of coffee or tea. No harm, no foul.
So be kind to yourself
Be kind to others
And here’s to today…
So we can enjoy tomorrow.
Peace, love, and maki rolls