Reminder: Ride or Die is Not Mutually Exclusive

Merriam Webster defines Ride or Die as follows:

As a noun, ride or die refers to someone you would do anything for.

As a verb, it means “to do anything for” or “to be loyal or dedicated to.”

As an adjective, it means “completely loyal and true.”

 

In 2026, it is the modus operandi of way too many people who treat the current socio-historical moment as a team sport. The things I’ve seen rationalized, excused, justified, and worst of all, applauded in the last year or so is disturbing to say the least.

 

A lot of people choose to not engage, step aside, or avoid confrontation. A lot of people are afraid. A significant amount of people think that things are going the way they should and see no fault in overstep, abuse of power, and general recklessness. If you use the slightest amount of objectivity, saying that the last 15 months have been normal is impossible. Then again, the people who think things are going the way they should have no problem with people like me having to carry a passport in case I get pulled over for going over the speed limit, running a red light, or dare we say it, speaking Spanish in public.

 

Some people might call this hyperbole, and I’ve been told as much. That’s their opinion although the odds are heavily in favor that people who think this way speak from a position that includes equal parts ignorance and privilege. No doubt, bigotry factors into the equation, but careful saying that to anyone's face, especially those who are. Truth has a way of inspiring the most vicious reactions from certain people and all in the name of the supposed land of the free.

 

In the midst of this, there are those who say: “This isn’t what I voted for”, “I didn’t think this would happen”, and one of the most infuriating sentiments, “I didn’t think it would happen to me”. Let’s unpack that. People recognize that some of the things that are happening are atrocious and they were fine with it, until it happened to them or someone they knew. How very christian (lowercase not a typo). 

 

All of this is the result of Ride or Die mentalities, the collapse of discourse and dialogue, and the justification of anything by people who have every intent of redefining rock bottom on a daily basis. Every day, the rhetoric is more blatant, more racist, and more xenophobic. Every day it is more targeted. Every day there are actions that want to erase contributions from people of color as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. Every day there’s a new level of cruelty achieved…and some people have been brainwashed into thinking any of this is a win.

 

Because it’s their team.

 

Because it’s their guy.

 

Because it’s their nationality.

 

Because it’s their race.

 

People continue to estrange themselves from others and when someone says enough, that’s when they pull out some classics like: “I can’t believe you’d let politics divide us like this.”

 

The curious thing is that you could say the exact same thing and use the exact same argument, because their decisions, concessions, justifications, and comments are the very reason why people cut ties. Yet somehow, you’d be in the wrong. They’ve gotten really good at that, I’ll say.

 

But that doesn’t change the fact that there is absolutely nothing normal about the current moment in time.

 

There is also not a shred of a moral fiber to be found in countless places.

 

This applies to the economy, education, healthcare, the tech sector, the military, and foreign affairs. Everything. Everything is unhinged and some people are waking up to it while others continue to call out people’s labels, genders, ethnicity, race, or religion as if that’s the only reason why people are protesting. 

“If you weren’t [Choose your preferred category], 

you wouldn’t be saying this or doing that.”

People fail to see that this isn’t about Team Blue versus Team Red, but that’s how a lot of people continue to phrase it because that’s how they see it and in part because it’s convenient. It’s convenient to deny facts and favor alternative facts because a part of them is so broken, that they can’t see it any other way. It’s easier to think it’s an ideological matter rather than a moral matter because if that were the case, they’d have to respond for the things they’ve not only enabled, but justified and rooted for. They demand reasoning, dialogue, empathy, and a fair shake, but give no one any of what they demand. They stoke fires, burn bridges, self-immolate, and then say whatever repercussions they face aren’t fair.

 

That I’m writing a piece this long basically guarantees most people won’t read it unless they agree with me or want to quote out of context. Another favorite pastime. And if they do disagree and read it in full, it’s to identify where they can get a jab in or where they can change the subject to something where they can talk circles around the topic, wear you down, gaslight, and finish with a “See? I was right, but I forgive you.”

How generous.

 

Except there’s no way to cut the current situation without revealing a festered core. To make matters worse, millions continue to think they’re Christian even though every single action shows that every day they walk farther away from the teachings of Christ. 

 

What good is quoting scripture, if your actions go against what the Bible teaches and what you actually preach?

 

What good is saying you’re a Christian, if you are selective in which neighbor you love?

 

What truth is there to your faith if you turn a blind eye and justify, excuse, normalize, and rationalize the most deplorable behavior?

  

Ride or die baby. That’s what so many wanted, right?

 

So, ride or die. Beds have been made, now it’s time to lie in them.

 

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s time to collectively accept that what is happening is not right, hold leaders to a moral standard that aligns with religions, demand accountability, and maybe remember to love ourselves as we love our neighbors regardless of color, race, age, ethnicity, gender, or creed.

 

 

 

2024 Report Card

Another year, another report card. Were there challenges? Lord. Next question, please.

To be honest, it was a very hard year to gauge and maneuver, let alone grade. So many ups and downs. So many curve balls. So many surprises. Yet somehow we made it through.

After some thought, I gave myself an A- though A+ for effort and resilience. So let’s break it down to see why I didn’t give myself a solid A or more…or less. I usually focus on things I got done, but there’s a variety of aspects that deserve a closer look and a proper run down.

Health. Health in your 40s is quite the adventure. I'll tell you that much. You can do everything right, but one strong sneeze or cough or even a bad movement, and your back can quit on you…completely or partially. I was lucky that last year it was only a partial ARGHHHHH versus 2023’s end-of-the-year adventures in feeling my age and having to visit urgent care. For 2024, I was also able to steer clear of burnout for the most part, but just barely. There were three very close calls. But this is a win, because I didn’t land in burnout (or crash, as it were). Luckily, I learned from past experiences and spoke up. Could it have been better? Yes. Oh, definitely yes. But it could have been so much worse. In short, I allowed myself to be human and asked for help, resources, or time and got what I needed for the most part. And when I felt off, I didn’t push through, I took time off. I did notice that my stamina took a hit because I went from more intense workouts to mainly walking, but these walks and yoga helped me in other ways. Was I a bit sluggish surfing at the end of the year? Yes, and we can blame that on the conditions I actually surfed in, or the fact that I was Hanseled to oblivion with foods, desserts, beer, wine, and all sorts of culinary delights from people happy to see me and happier to feed me. But that’s something to address in 2025 and give myself some grace. I was tired and mentally a bit burnt out, sure, but I didn’t go into a full burnout or land in a crisis. And though there’s always tomorrow, for yesterday and the whole of last year, I worked hard and made sure I was as OK as I could be. Anyways, next topic!

Books. You might have heard, but I did a thing. I finished a series. Part of the burnout I mentioned above was due to the effort I put into finishing Beyond Human which finishes the Human Cycle.

This not-so-little book was a not-so-little beast and it took much-more-than-not-so-little to get it edited, proofread, and finalized on time for the Puerto Rico Comic Con. Although I won’t know how well I did until I read the whole series from start to finish, what I can say is that in the reading department, I finished several series and I feel more comfortable with how I did than say, the City of Ember Series or His Dark Materials. “But JD, those are best-selling series!” I’m well aware of that fact. I’m not talking about relevance, reach, or sales. I’m talking about story and craft and although I can’t say I did better than either of those series in general or particularly in regard to their high points (which are VERY high), The Human Cycle was more consistent as a series than both of the ones I mentioned and I would put money on that claim. Book One isn’t the sole driver in a series. Main driver? Yes. Sole driver? No. Books 2 and 3 don’t feel like a major drop in quality. Actually, either quality remains consistent, or it improved. I also worked very hard to make sure most of a hearty list of characters got a proper send-off while also leaving a couple of doors open in case some of these characters want to come back for another adventure. But I didn’t leave any cliffhangers. I left open doors. I also didn’t half-ass explanations or skip BIG chunks of the narrative (Looking at you, City of Ember). I also didn’t put every single idea I had in my head (Looking at you, His Dark Materials). I’m sure once I read it, I will think of things I could have included, tweaked or, dare I say it, “improved”. But I’m at peace knowing I gave my absolute best and that this project is truly and deeply a solo project. No beta readers. No editor. Only me. For better or worse. More than wanted, I needed a project like that. It had to be as human as I could make it and it’s done and so far, reviews are positive, with a lot of people praising the series as a whole. Did I get the sales I wanted? Not really, but I did much better than I’d thought seeing combination of numbers in events, from book sales in Puerto Rico thanks to collaborating with Letras Distribution, and thanks to Amazon. As for awards, I got two honorable mentions in the International Latino Book Awards and though I would have preferred a win, it’s just an invitation to push myself more. Can I do better? We can ALWAYS do better. In sales and in my writing, but I’ll once again choose to focus on the fact that I gave my best and did my best. 

 Writing events and activities. In person, I participated in the Puerto Rico Comic Con to celebrate my tenth anniversary as an author (another reason why I NEEDED to finish the Human Cycle). I kept my end of the bargain and brought a new book for readers. I was very happy to see that readers also kept their part of the bargain and came to say hello, catch up, and I was very happy to see that my book was still a must buy for many people. Actually, this went for several of my books. In addition, it was beautiful to see the author community in PR continue to flourish and I’m so proud of all my writer friends. 

 

Other than that, the other events I attended were as a civilian to scope the land, evaluate the prospect of participating, saying hello to a ton of writer friends, and picking up quite a few new books. Online, I continued to participate in a wide variety of interviews on several channels and that’s always fun. I spoke with friends I hadn’t been in touch with for a while and it was great to chat and catch up. I also gave chats to classrooms in Puerto Rico and Pennsylvania, two writing classes, and I participated in the AuthorTube Writing Conference giving not one but two presentations: a panel on Healthy Writing Habits with Heidi Angell and Joe Compton and a webinar on Collaboratingfor the Perfect Cover. All in all, not bad at all…and I’m ready to do more, so if you are a teacher or would like to round up a group of friends for a class on creativity, then let’s make it happen.  

 

My First Writing Course

Students from Mr. Weimann's class

Me talking about writing to 4th/5th graders

Reading. 44 books was the goal and we got the 44 though I did rush in the last week as if I were in a competition. I was happy with the variety of books, from kids books, to poetry, to whole series, in both English and Spanish, and for the most part reading what I wanted to and enjoying. The main thing is to keep it steady and find a book or two where you really hook into it. I do plan on reading more this year, but I kept my base goal the same because life happens and 44 isn't bad at all.

 

Work. The usual roller coaster asked 2023 to hold its beer and 2024 at times felt like a bull hellbent on bucking me off or goring me. High points include presentations I gave to clients, projects we finished that had everyone involved happy, and participating on a panel for a company-wide event. I was also involved in a film production at the end of the year in Puerto Rico, got to know a program I wasn’t aware of called TechosPa’ Mi Gente (Roofs for my People) and it was a very special experience and I will be sharing more information about this cause soon. That’s the good, the bad was crazy work volume at times and life offering me plenty of lessons and more than one slice of humble pie in regard to situations and dynamics. I did my best to learn from the experiences and speak my truth. Did some things affect me more than I would have liked? Sure, but hey, I’m Only Human. ;) Still, we forged ahead and all I can say is that I gave my best and that’s enough for me because no matter what adversity I faced or unpleasantness I was offered, I kept giving my best regardless. 

 

Friends and Family. I did my best to be in touch, to be present, to make time, and to work around things as best as I could, but I learned that sometimes winging something works endlessly better than planning. This goes for friends, family, and even projects. Making time for something isn’t always easy and sometimes every will work against what you want to do. But on other occasions, a small silly little thing can lead to making true memories. So, here’s to more of that. To those I wasn't able to get to, I'll keep doing my best though feel free to give me a hand so we can make more awesome moments together ;)

Is there more to unpack?

 

Of course, but this gives you a pretty decent idea of the year I had. The grade is because things did affect me that I wish wouldn’t have. But the grade is also because I avoided a full crash and honestly, I got dealt a lot of rough hands and made due and forged ahead. Did I absolutely crush everything? No. I sold less than I wanted. I’m still eons away from author sustainability. Reviews are still not as often as I'd like them. I need to continue to focus on work-life balance. But I did pretty good and the note to see after class is to remind myself that for being indie, for having a high demand job, for being tossed a bunch of challenges and some dirty deeds, I did good and was stubborn for the good things. I didn’t push things. I stayed true to who and how I am. I was human. And that deserves praise, even if the extra credit doesn’t get me the full A.

 

Still, there’s always next year. Thanks for joining me for the recap and til next we meet in words.

 

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

 

A Case Against “For”

While giving a compliment can make someone’s day, giving a back-handed compliment can do the opposite…and it happens way too often.

 

“That person looks good…for their: age, weight, nationality, height, body type, skin color, sense of style, hair length, hair color” and beyond.

 

The person should have stopped when they said “good.”

 

That person looks good.

 

Period.

 

No need for caveats, buts, exceptions, loaded words, or thinly veiled judgment. There is a spectrum of beauty. Something people easily forget. For both men and women, it’s a minefield of expectations they have to sort through along with feelings of inadequacy that are all too common.

 

For women, beauty is an endless topic of contention. It’s a dangerous obsession and the media often promotes unhealthy standards of beauty that switch arbitrarily, often just in time to have people need to hit new goals once they arrive at what was supposedly a standard of beauty.

 

Too fat. Too skinny. Arms too big. Love handles. Ass too big. Ass too small. Square hips. Too much hips. Tits too big. Tits too small. Chin not fine enough. Lips too big. Eyes too dark. Eyes too clear. Too short. Too tall. Huge feet. Jaw too square. Tiny hands. Long neck. Short torso. Too muscular. Knobby knees. Thicc thighs. Hair too thick. Hair too thin. Hair too long. Hair not long enough.

 

And age? It’s as if women aren’t allowed to be attractive past a certain age.

 

And

 

That

 

Is

 

Bullshit

 

Fortunately, things have shifted a bit and women are taking back their sensuality but they’re doing it boisterously because there are still circles that want to cast beautiful women as grandmas and nothing else. Very often you hear actresses have to defend what they wear or don’t wear. That they use makeup, that they don’t use makeup, that they dye their hair, that they embrace their grays. And whatever the answer, for some people and certain circles, it’ll never be enough.

 

But correct me if I’m wrong, last I checked Halle Berry (57), Elizabeth Hurley (58), Michelle Yeoh (61), Salma Hayek (57), Charlize Theron (48), Sade Adu (64), Susan Sarandon (77), Jamie Lee Curtis (65), Iman (68), Dolly Parton (77), Kate Beckinsale (50), (Jennifer Lopez (54), Susanna Hoffs (62), Lynda Carter (72), and Shakira (46), don’t just look good for their age. They look good. Period. And lord, Rita Moreno is 92 and beautiful.

 

But we still hear people insist on including “for” in any compliments given.

 

How about we nix that word and focus on the compliment we want to give?

 

And although to a drastically reduced level, men also get a bit of that “for” goodness.

 

He looks good for his weight, height, body type, nationality, skin color, and age. And sometimes you get some “evens” thrown in. He looks good, even without hair, even with a patchy beard, even, even, even…

 

It’s baffling to see the use of these words. Seriously, what’s the need for that “for”? Why insist on bringing down someone a notch or several notches after bringing them up? Why put an asterisk on someone rather than recognize that they are not only enough but amazing?

 

Do away with for. Stop before for. Do not give in to for. For if you do, then for shame, for you miss out on an opportunity to recognize beauty for what it is. Whatever the race, the age, the weight, the hair color, the gender, the orientation, or the style, there’s more beauty than there is lack of it. Instead, embrace and celebrate the true spectrum of beauty, for it will benefit everyone to do away with for, once and for all.

 

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

 

Me, Myself, and Mine

Wanting success is normal. Sure, some people may sabotage themselves in various ways, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to succeed. It might mean that they’re afraid of success, but deep down, they want to make it.

 

However, defining success in your terms is a bit trickier.

 

It’s always curious to see people who say they want to have as much success as another author or they want to be the next [insert name of wildly successful author]. It reminds me a bit of how we sometimes have to pitch our books:

“It’s like a more accessible American Gods with elements of Tolkien, Chronicles of Narnia, and tons of Easter eggs.”

That’s how I sell Only Human, because it gives a frame of reference that makes it easy for many people to understand. But I can’t say I want to have the same success as Neil Gaiman. Sure, one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received is to be compared in some way to him. Still, I want my books to be mine, even if I use his works as a frame of reference to sell a copy, and I want my success to be completely, unequivocally, and absolutely mine.

 

For starters, it’s impossible to have the same success as another person in the same way that it’s impossible for two people to be exactly identical in every way, shape, and form. But beyond that, it’s very possible that people are afraid to craft their own definition of success because it puts all accountability on them. If you didn’t have the same success as King, Gaiman, Rowling, Allende, or Tolkien, that’s fine, because you’re not them.

 

But think about it: is it easier to say you want to be as successful as Stephen King or is it easier to create your dream scenario, with real goals and pipe dreams that put you in the driver's seat? And I make a point to dream real AND dream big. Dream about being able to pay your monthly bills and also dream about an art installation inspired by your books. Dream about getting your books in libraries and dream about being part of a curriculum in a state or country. Dream about receiving fan art and dream about film, TV, and video game adaptations of your works.

 

Some would say:

“It's impossible!”

 

To which we could counter with a simple:

Why is it so impossible?

 

Here's JD’s definition of success: Having a seven-figure income that comes from multiple streams and gives me the means to carry out all the projects I feel passionate about while also supporting causes I believe in. That I’m able to fully commit my energy to writing, giving workshops, playing music, and collaborating with artists across disciplines to promote the value and power of creativity. That my work helps inspire future writers and creators and that I’m offered opportunities to collaborate with people of all ages as well. That I can craft merch that is fun, sustainable, and supports good causes. That I can have meaningful projects that create jobs for people. That my works get adapted into live-action and animated films and series and that I am able to contribute as a producer to pay crews fair wages across the board. That I can help create memorable video games that stick with people for the rest of their lives. That I can encourage Spanish-speaking people to read in English and English-speaking people to read in Spanish. That my work helps shine a positive light on Puerto Rico and gets people interested in getting to know the Island and our culture better. That my work offers opportunity for organic diversity and responsible representation. That my efforts can support other countries and islands in the Caribbean because although I’m Puerto Rican, I’ll always want the best for my neighbors. That I can have enough recognition as a musician to be invited to collaborate with other musicians. That I can make some money off my food reviews to encourage people to try new things so we can all discover new things to enjoy. That I am able to develop writing workshops combined with physical activity to promote wellness and knowledge. That my work in some way inspires people to pick up a bodyboard. That I have enough success and recognition to get invited across the world to meet all my writer friends.

 

I’m sure that if I keep thinking, I can come up with more things to add to my definition, but that’s a pretty robust, long, and ballsy list. I didn’t shy away from saying the money I’d like to make though I wasn’t specific. I do have a number in my mind but with inflation and the world doing what it does, I just want the means to do more of what I love and that instead of juggling work with writing and other passions, that I can live off and thrive from those creative efforts exclusively.

 

By putting it out there, I run the risk of being ridiculed or people telling me to bring it down a couple of notches…and they can keep those opinions. This is my definition of success. Will I edit it? Will I add to it or take anything off? Who knows? All I know is that I read that paragraph and every single one of those goals resonates. And that’s good enough for me. Do I need to get organized and do a ton of things? Of course, but that’s just part of the adventure.

 

Now let’s switch roles. How about you define your success? Take your time with it and know that the definition can change but let yourself dream. You don’t have to share your definition, but you can, if you want to. Leave it as a comment if you like, or put it in a notebook, on your vision board, or whatever. The decision of what you do with that definition is up to you, as well as what you include in it.

 

Here’s to conquering the world and smiling while we’re at it.

 

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

2023 Report Card

It’s been a hot minute since I did a report card. Four years to be exact. That said, it’s funny because between this post and the last one, a pandemic has happened and a LOT of the goals I wrote in a blog post didn’t get done, even if several did.

 

Stuff I did get done:
The second volume of my Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore... and that’s it. Lol. If you want to see my report card for 2019 and the goals I had for 2020 that got absolutely derailed, check the post here.

 

If like me, you’d rather focus on the here and now, then keep reading.

 

So 2023 was a year with LOTS of ups and downs. The highs were wonderful with my first prose book in Spanish thanks to my dark short story collection: Penumbra. I also published Daydreams 2 and finished the first draft of Beyond Human. I went to the Puerto Rico Comic Con and had the best show in terms of sales I’ve ever had plus had the company of my brother from another mother, Mr. Joe Compton, representing Go Indie Now and allowing me the pleasure of showing him a bit of the Island though there’s still SO much to see. I did some live shows but then I hit a rough ole patch, lost momentum, and had to push through to get past several obstacles.

 

Part of getting past those obstacles was learning to say no to several events and even cancel some because I was in no shape to participate. In that sense, there were a lot of heavy moments, some of which I’ll talk about later, but rest assured I had to adjust a lot of things.

 

In October I went to Chicago for the first time on a trip with my oldest brother and I had an absolutely wonderful time and really enjoyed my time in Chicago, everything I shared with the bro, the Peter Gabriel concert, the food, and the sights. The only thing I didn’t enjoy was getting COVID, which truly ruined a bunch of plans I had for October, including properly celebrating my anniversary. To boot, I coughed so much that I got a nasty back spasm that put me out of commission further for several days and took me several weeks to get back to normal.

 

But I ended the year going to Puerto Rico and spending time with the family. The trip also came with its own sets of challenges, but rather than talking about that, I’ll focus on the last full week, how I was able to spend a lot of time with the family and go surf five times in one week.

 

I didn’t meet my Goodreads goal but I still read 32 books, which is respectable. I also used my time out of commission in October to recalibrate and refocus myself and have been able to do some writing every single day since mid-October.

 

As you can see, it was up-down-up-down-up-down and so on and so forth. Still, it was a good year. Had some decent sales on Amazon, was able to coordinate with a book distributor to have my books in PR, was able to coordinate to have ALL my books in the ex-alum collection at my alma mater, and saw a lot of friends. Two huge highlights are thanks to two friends and want to make a specific shoutout to Judyliz Díaz, whom I know from my college days. Thanks to her, a classroom in the states purchased and discussed my bilingual collection Twenty Veinte. Secondly, I want to give a shout also to my wonderful horror brother from another mother, Mr. Ángel Isian for being so kind as to invite me to give a poetry workshop to his students. These are two beautiful highlights that I didn’t talk about much because I got distracted by life, but I’ll be talking about these experiences and more soon.

 

Did I have failures? Yes. 

 

Are there areas of opportunity? What can I say? I’m Only Human. 

 

Will there be goals I’ll bring to this year? You can bet your top, middle, or bottom dollar.

 

Is this good or bad? Neither. It’s life. And life brings surprises. Some are great and some are rough as hell. But you keep moving forward.

 

I had every intention of participating in more collections, but things didn’t pan out. That said, I still submitted one story which I still hope will be picked up for a Spanish horror short story collection. And it’s up to me, whether I focus on the one I was able to submit to or the three others I was not able to. It’s a tendency to focus on the negative or let that drag us down.

 

But I refuse to only focus on the negative.

 

Some great things happened last year. That’s not me looking at silver linings. That’s not me being an optimist. That’s a fact. And I choose to celebrate the good more than the bad, because I can, and so can you.

 

As for a grade, being objective, I’d give myself and A- or B+. Hovering between those two, which still puts me in good shape for this new semester. 

 

 

Peace, love, and maki rolls

Are you content?

There is no shortage of quirks in regard to the English language. Among the many fascinating details we have to manage while we do our best to communicate, there’s a term called heteronyms. That’s what happens when you have two words written exactly the same way but not only does the pronunciation vary, so does their meaning.

 

When you read the title of this post, do you read content as in “a state of peaceful happiness or satisfaction” or do you read “the material discussed within a book, speech, or stuff we share on social media”? It’s easy to confuse the two, especially in these times since so often the production of one should lead to the production of the other.

 

So often, people seem to post content instead of enjoying the experience. Some insist they’re capturing memories, though too often it feels as if there's an ulterior motive, as if it's performative to a large degree. It’s not to share, for sharing’s sake. It’s because you want your experiences to resonate, to inspire, or even to compete and win against those of others.

 

Social media is an odd beast in so many ways, but among its most dangerous aspects is how deep it seeps into our reality and behavior. Even if you don’t post, the odds are still heavily in favor that you consume content, scroll, like, share, and comment until you’re kind of content.

 

I’ve shared thousands of posts on social media. Pictures, screenshots, memes, videos, songs, text, poems, silly pictures, jokes, and the occasional scream into the void. I try to be mindful, but FOMO (fear of missing out) can be very real, even if what causes that sentiment is probably manufactured.

 

So often, people share things and you can feel the underlying competitive aspect of what they share as if saying things like:

• My selfie has more likes than yours.
• My video from my trip has more views than yours.

But sometimes this behavior backfires, because the person doesn't get the response they want. No likes or loves. No comments. No shares. Nothing. The algorithm swallows the chance at a shot of dopamine that comes in the shape of validation. Or maybe people honestly don’t care what you do, share, or have to say…which clearly shows the risk you run by putting your joy in the hands of other people.

 

Content by itself doesn’t make us content…maybe it can be the means to get there from time to time, because like it or not, many people often hunger for that reaction and to feel relevant. But what you share by itself is actually pretty harmless. This changes when you tie social media to your passion or means of income. In short, the risk further escalates. Creators question the worth of their output, whether music, writing, art, or anything. They sometimes stop listening to the voice that is telling them what they should create. They forget how to play in the sandbox of their soul. All of this in favor of switching things up to get results.

 

And results come from content…even if it doesn’t leave you feeling content. The Internet is flooded by how-to’s, step-by-steps, guides to success, and professionals who focus on the generation of material to get the results you need. By the way, a word to the wise: careful with whom you trust your time, energy, and money, because some people are just interested in their bank accounts and agendas.

 

A brief scan of social media and you’ll see people who have their style down to a science…and too often it feels as if people lean on formulas to feed the algorithm instead of feeding their souls and doing what brings them joy and fulfillment. They need to “win” either by increasing their sales, their engagement, or their views, even if it costs them their enjoyment.

 

Then there are those who say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery…which isn’t the whole quote, but let's start there and go over a possible scenario which could be something like this: someone sees a page that has a lot of views, they see what the other person is doing, then they either do their version of it, or basically do a carbon copy of what other people do…just to get results. It reminds me of bands that aren’t paying tribute to other bands, but basically ripping them off if only to get a quick way to gain success. By the way, the full quote from the line that starts this paragraph comes from Oscar Wilde and goes thusly: Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness. And alas, some people are too happy to engage in mediocrity if it gives them the results and validation they crave.

 

However, it’s not just mediocrity, some people also adopt personas that are engaging to others and that people respond to, even if they’re a far cry from how the person is in real life or even if they wear a smile even if inside they feel horrible. This happens all the time on social media and with famous people who could be sponsored by their preferred brand of artificial sweetener.

 

But what happens when you’re not famous? What happens when you don’t get the likes and engagement you want? There’s a real risk with your emotional state and general mental health.

 

I am old enough to remember doing stuff with friends or by myself just for the fun of it and to a great extent it felt as if we were consistently doing our best to create memories or dare I say, just having fun. If there was an algorithm it was internal and although the fear of missing out was still there, there was no fear of missing out on sharing every bit of what we experienced to demonstrate that our lives were awesome.

 

SEO has geared people to do all sorts of things thinking about their perceived audience. Alas, too often we forget that we are more than content and we should strive to feel more than just content.

 

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

What’s in a number?

As humans we’re often fascinated by numbers. 

 

The weight of a boulder. The height of a mountain. The depth of an ocean. The speed of sound. The speed of light. The amount of chocolate chips in the largest chocolate chip cookie in the world. The amount of money some movie earned.

 

When you write, there are several numbers that can come to mind. 

 

How many words have you written? 

How many books have you published? 

How many awards have you won?

 

Other numbers can haunt us.

 

How many typos were in that first draft? 

How many books have I sold? 

How many books do I need to sell to break even? 

How long will it take to finish my next book? 

How long will it take to make it? 

How many reviews have your books gotten?

 

This year marks ten years since I published my first book, Only Human.

 

Ten years.

 

A decade.

 

It sounds big because it is big. It’s a significant amount of time from any angle you look at it, as long as it’s a human perspective. Ten years is nothing to the world, the solar system, the galaxy, or the universe.

 

But to a human? It’s pretty big. It’s not huge. But you can’t deny its weight and not just because it’s trendy to be able to put 10^th anniversary on anything you do. It’s not many things we willingly stick to for a decade unless we love it...which is why it still feels like I’m getting started.

 

Some people have asked me, “how does it feel to have made it?” I can’t answer that question because in my eyes, I have not made it. Not by a long shot. I have over twenty projects at different stages of development. I don't have a TED Talk. I haven't given a commencement speech.I haven’t had a movie, show, or video game adaptation to become part of the zeitgeist, which means that only do I want an adaptation, I want it to be good enough to have people know my characters by name and for the work to live with them...and for fans to still say, meh, the book’s better.

 

Last year was not a busy one on this blog. This isn’t a complaint or an apology, it’s just a statement based on fact. I had nine blog posts including one for Mom, two for Puerto Rico after Hurricane Fiona, two for March of the Writers, and one guest blog post. This post alone means I’m 9 blog posts away from being more active than last year.

 

Is it a resolution?

 

No.

 

Is it a promise?

 

No.

 

It’s me saying I’m in a better place now than I was a year ago and we’ll talk about that and a lot more things as we go along the year.

 

In 2022, I was able to publish a grand total of one book to continue my yearly tradition of publishing something on Mother’s Day. For this year, there will be a book published on that date...and the plan is to publish a couple more.

 

I’ve known to start a year off with a long list of resolutions or goals or things I will do in a year. I’m not in the mood for any of that. I just want to write and keep having fun. I also want to share that fun with people if only to encourage others to also have fun.

 

The first post on this blog was in May 11, 2013. That’s almost a month after I published Only Human which is as telling a sign as I think I can offer in regards to my writer journey. There’s a lot of winging, a lot of improvising, a lot of guessing, and a lot of doing something for the sake of doing it along with a lot of discovery in my writer journey of who I am as writer, a creative, and a human. My books, my blog, and what I do on social media are all reflections of who I am. Is there book promotion? Sure. But it’s not the majority, because although I love selling my books and making sure I’m not in the red, what drives me is discovery and connection with you and with myself.

 

Right now we’re connecting on some words you’re reading on your phone or computer and to some degree, we’re connecting. Last year I won my first award with my writing and it felt nice to have some sort of validation. On that note, I promise I will continue submitting my work because I know that if I write well enough, it can open doors to what matters: connecting with people. Please note I said people and not just readers.

 

Yes, I want to connect with readers.

 

Yes, I want to win awards.

 

Yes, I want sales.

 

Yes, I want to get more reviews.

 

Yes, I want writing to eventually pay the bills.

 

But it all goes back to connecting. I want the means to do more of what I love and reach more people so we can talk about books, writing, and the words that connect us.

 

Ten years.

 

It’s huge.

 

It’s a blip.

 

It’s whatever we make of it.

 

This may be the first of many blog posts for 2023 or it just may be a captured moment. Regardless, it is also a genuine Thank You for joining me on my first decade as a published author. Now let’s see if I can keep you guessing and keep you reading.

 

Peace, love, and maki rolls

 

 

Creative alternatives to address gun violence

If you think the opioid addiction crisis is bad, it pales into comparison to the addiction the US has with firearms. Just this post alone has been restarted three times because three major shootings have happened in less than two weeks.

 

It’s easy to feel hopeless with the seemingly never-ending gun-related events that continue to plague the U.S. It’s easy to feel disheartened, because for every effort to try and implement common sense laws that are designed not to limit your right to bear your arms, but to protect people from future events like what happens on an almost weekly basis, we keep seeing thoughts, prayers, and excuses.

 

It’s easy to feel this way because politicians and gun activists continue to turn a blind eye to this pandemic that’s been plaguing the U.S. far longer than COVID. It’s easy because they continue to use gun laws to appease to a certain voter base that wants guns for everyone and not much else or so it appears. Just look at the talking points of the Florida and Texas governors. Just look at other politicians who make campaign ads talking about machine gun bacon. Look at how fervent they defend the right to guns but fight against affordable healthcare, reproductive rights, the right to clean air and clean water, and so many other things that fall on the wayside because it’s a higher priority to protect the right to bear arms than it is to do pretty much anything else to benefit your average citizen.

 

You see all of this and it’s extremely easy to want to give up.

 

Well, it’s easy if you’re not one of the people who have lost a loved one to gun violence. For those people, it’s impossible to want to give up.

 

Angry? Frustrated? Enraged? Heart-broken?

 

Yes, to all of these.

 

But deterred?

 

How about no. How about hell no. (For an example, look at the acceptance speech of Manuel and Patricia Oliver, who are the parents of Joaquín Oliver, who was murdered four years ago in the Parkland shooting ). Then look at the ad for “The Lost Class” made by Leo Burnett.

 

In one weekend during May 2022, not one but two shootings occurred. Both showed clear signs that something could happen. Both happened anyways. Then a third shooting happened this week where teachers and students were gunned down by another person who had easy access to an AR-15. And still people insist these are isolated incidents and fight tooth and nail for change to not happen. They still complain about everything that’s wrong with the country and how everything’s so unfair and living conditions are impossible, etc. etc. But regulating guns? Nah. We can’t do anything there. Our hands are tied. Or maybe they’re too busy counting corporate money from the NRA. What I’m not sure is if they check their bank accounts before or after tweeting their thoughts and prayers.

 

People are expected to train for an active shooter but not much is done to deter, minimize, or make things a little harder for a shooter. By the way, let me edit that last sentence to make it a bit more uncomfortable. Children are expected to train for an active shooter. Children. And if that’s not insane enough, then tell me why it’s harder for you to buy cold medicine at a pharmacy than it is to buy a gun in many places in this country.

 

Which gets me to thinking maybe we need a different approach to address gun violence.

 

Imagine debt forgiveness, a living wage, or full health insurance for the entire family if you agree to vote for universal background checks. How about free gas for 5 years if we agree to a nation-wide 48 hr. holding period? How about halving the interest on your mortgage if we raise the age of being able to buy a gun to 21? How about free tuition for your kids if people are required to take a written and practical test to own a gun? How about free treatment for members of your community with a terminal condition or free insulin for any members in your community who have diabetes if we ban AR-15s and all high-capacity weaponry? How about free food, housing, and job placement for people in your community suffering from homelessness if people with a criminal record are unable to get guns nation-wide?

 

No? Then how about people make a wish list. The sky’s the limit because after all, this isn’t going to fly, right? Then why not go hog wild and say what you really want. People are not saying hand in your guns. They’re saying: let’s put laws into effect to make a background check mandatory. They’re saying maybe it’s not a great idea to sell guns to minors. They’re saying maybe you don’t need an assault rifle to hunt buck. They’re saying, if you have a criminal record or a history of violence, that maybe, possibly, it’s not the best idea to let you buy any weapon you want with little to no resistance. So ask away. State your demands. Let people know what it will take to bring change, and again, this is not to take away all your guns, it’s to try and do something to make it so that we don’t have a mass shooting every week. How sad is it that if we had a mass shooting every month it’d be not only an improvement, but a DRASTIC improvement?

 

Oh wait, the new talking point for THIS go around is that it’s a problem with mental illness. That’s the only issue. Although I completely agree that the US has a huge problem with mental illness and access to mental health care and coverage for everyone, some people have defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results...except that to compound things, nothing has been done since Sandy Hook, which would make this even worse than insanity. It makes the lack of change irresponsible, idiotic, vile, and dare I say, un-American.

 

• Universal background checks.
• Nation-wide 48 hr. holding period.
• Raise the age of being able to buy a gun to 21.
• Written and practical tests to own a gun.
• Ban AR-15s and all high-capacity weaponry.
• If you have a criminal record and a history a violence, you don’t get to buy a gun.

 

There’s no reason all of these measures can’t be put into place. Excuses? Corporate interests? Yes. But no logical reason why any of these measures weren’t implemented a decade ago or right now.