Defeating Time Bandits (A post about Time Management NOT the movie)

If you love 80’s movies, you might love Time Bandits. I sure do. But I don’t love things that steal my time, you know, the crappy bandits of time. Time is the one commodity that once it passes it’s gone. You can melt gold from jewelry, you might get better growth from pastures if you tend to them and care for them, but time? It is fragile as they come… and easily squandered.

So how do you make the best use of time?

Well firstly, I’m not the best person to ask all the time. Sure, I might be productive, I might at times have frightening stamina (which can and DOES run out), I might get a lot done in a little time, but sometimes I misuse time… I squander it. And when I see what I could have done, it doesn’t feel all too stellar.

Although there are many tips I can offer to address this, I shall focus on one for the moment: identify the bandits of time.

What steals your time? What app is fracturing your attention? What game is keeping you from your goals? What adventures in multi-tasking has you progressing in a way but coming up short?

For me, there are a couple of apps plus ALL the things I want to do. The difference between winging it and organizing myself is staggering. Last week, I had several to-dos, but I didn’t dedicate time, my list was more creative than strict, and I was distracted by bodyboarding competitions, apps, life, and tons of things.

This happens and the first thing we need to do is to be OK with it happening from time to time but without losing focus or giving ourselves all the slack in the world. It’s all about balance and time has a way of flying away from us. That’s why today, my list was a definitive list. It had allotted time to it. It had order. It had structure and it looked formal enough to force me to commit to tackling it. 11 items, plus the day job… and I got it all done. Bit by bit. Steady as she goes. Wasn’t a writer sprint. Wasn’t pushing through an avalanche, it was staying steady, keeping the list nearby, making time, and STICKING to that time. I have 10 minutes? That’s it. If I don’t complete, I leave until tomorrow as punishment.

Now here’s an interesting thing to note. This approach doesn’t always work. Think of it like a sprain or a headache. Sometimes an ice pack helps. Sometimes it’s sleep. Sometimes it’s even getting the right tisane or tea for the job. Inspiration, to do lists, and writing is much the same. It’s an ever evolving challenge and you have to constantly find new ways of facing those challenges and going for it. That’s because sometimes you need to freshen things up and try something new. Too often people focus on tried and true methods and they get painted into a corner.

Don’t fall into that trap. Be creative. Be adventurous. See what works for you. Give yourself tough love. Give yourself tough attitudes. Be accountable. Be whatever the day or week needs you to be but always focus on finding ways to keep going forwards.

For me, it’s all about keeping the phone away and focusing on the task at hand. I did what I wanted to do… and that creates momentum. So here’s to tomorrow. To visualizing that list, to seeing those lines come from your pen or keyboard, and for those other lines to go across each one of those items.

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

Lines of life or a lifeline

Last week a lovely fellow author lost her battle with mental illness and depression. I wasn’t that close to her but I did know her and I can tell you that every time we wrote each other was a positive experience and she was several shades of lovely.

And now she’s gone.

If you don’t get anything else from this post, please get the phone number below. It may save a life… even yours.

The National Suicide Prevention hotline 1-800-273-8255

Sonya Craig is one of several lovely people who have lost their battles to inner demons and it is alarming how common this has become… but I don’t want the usual to happen, which is for people to be dulled by the frequency of these events to the point where they almost become numb to them.

There have been way too many people who have taken their life in their hands and ended it and it is heartbreaking. In these times when people who loved these victims are trying to cope, the last thing that should come from anyone’s mouth is that these people were selfish or that they’re going to hell for committing suicide and pardon me, but that’s one of the few stances I won’t budge on.

The level of mental and physical anguish people go through is monumental and to many people they might seem fine. Great hair, great physique, successful, but beneath all that is a bruised soul… sometimes it’s fractured… and other times it’s broken beyond repair. High profile names abound but when you see someone whom you can relate to, a fellow author, writer, human… someone who has dreams yet a life, a life with great moments… and in one bad turn, they’re gone.

As time passes, I realize that these wonderful people fall into traps of pride (I can get myself out of this), fear (I don’t want people to think less of me), and guilt (I don’t want to be a burden). Each of these can be fatal. For these people, life is pain or the pain of life becomes unbearable, which is why many of these people find a purpose and actually make a difference. If you search the hashtag #ThankYouSonya on social media you can see what I mean.

Sure I could mention Robin Williams or Chris Cornell, two super high profile people, wonderful people, beloved and beyond talented who took their lives for different reasons. Some people feel the temptation to call it a waste of a life. I can understand that sentiment but it’s no time to pass judgment. You did not walk in their shoes. You do not know what they endured. You cannot believe what it takes for a decision like that to be made and I hope you never do.

More than anything though, this post is for anyone who has these types of thoughts and by some odd chance came across this page. My name is JD Estrada, I’m an indie author, and I care. I cannot solve your problems but I put a telephone number above that may help you. If you have dangerous thoughts, call that number. Please. Don’t wait until the morning. Don’t make a 3 month plan. Act right now. Take control of your life in a positive way. I know it hurts. I know it’s a shit. I also see the news. I also can’t make sense of all the madness. I have no idea why people can so easily hurt other people. I don’t know why women are not treated equally. I don't know why gender can inspire fear and hate and intolerance the way it does. I don’t know why black people are targeted. I don’t understand why Hispanics, Asians, and other minorities are considered less. I don’t know why that person left you. I don’t know why that person you care about so much doesn’t care back. But I do know one thing. You matter. You really do and if you think you don’t, I want you to know that I’m betting on you. I believe in you no matter the odds because I’ve seen people make the decision to live and gone to change the lives of dozens, hundreds, thousands, and even millions of people. Humans with stories to share and words to capture that inner magic we all have inside if we decide to embrace it. This moment of anguish, this pain, it may be intense, but it is energy, and energy cannot be created or destroyed, but transformed. Ending a life does not end energy but it does erase the potential for change for the better. Ending a life turns the potential for world changing energy to more pain and trust me, please trust me, I know it hurts, but we have enough pain. Let not pride detain you. Let not fear deter you. Let not guilt rob you of the opportunity of saving a life, because I promise you this. If you save your life, you can save another, and another. Just for making one decision. The choice is yours. The judgment of others matters not. Only the choice. Your choice. And I do hope that if these words found you, that they helped sway you in favor of making a difference. If not. I’m sorry I couldn’t do any more, but know that at least one person will not judge you… I’ll root for you til the end, but I won’t judge you. We learn nothing from judging. Not a goddamn thing. But we learn everything from living and choosing to live.

May the light of your deepest well shine bright… for we need it.

#ThankYouSonya

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

Give it to me hard

Oh my! How’s THAT for clickbait goodness? :)

So why the audacious title? Simple. I have a couple of observations, a request or three, and a giveaway proposition. A BIG one.

For years, I have been struggling to get more sales and more reviews. It’s one of several challenges an indie author has to face and part of the writer journey. I do pretty well at events, especially the Puerto Rico Comic Con. For the second year in a row, I sold out of Only Human copies. I also sold and keep selling quite a few copies of my 6 poetry collections, Shadow of a Human (the follow up to Only Human), my bilingual collection Twenty Veinte, and the Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore from time-to-time, but throughout all this, reviews continue to be a challenge.

This isn’t speculation and more than just an observation, it’s a challenge within my writer journey and I want to face it head on. I know writing a review isn’t remotely enticing but it is the best way to keep growing and reaching more people, along with word of mouth recommendations. I’ve gotten to think that maybe some people don’t want to make me feel bad with a review because they didn’t like my work. Therein comes the title of this blog post: Give it to me hard… and I mean it.

If I can do something better, it is better to know than to wonder. So let me have it. You thought my books were too violent or not violent enough? Let me know. Think my books have too many characters? Tell the world. Regardless of what you like or don’t like, since I’m an indie author I pay attention to those reviews and what people say and take it all on board as best as I can.

So the main requests are to share your thoughts, to not fear retaliation, or worry that I feel bad. Let your opinion be felt. You’d be doing me a favor even with a bad review.

Which brings me to the giveaway proposition. With your help, I want to get to:

Only Human – 40 Reviews on Goodreads (currently at 24)

Shadow of a Human – 15 reviews on Goodreads (currently at 5)

Between the Tides – 15 reviews on Goodreads (currently at 2)

Dark Strands – 15 Reviews on Goodreads (Currently at 5)

Captured Moments – 15 Reviews on Goodreads (Currently at 3)

Black Tie Affair - 15 Reviews on Goodreads (currently at 3)

Roulette of Rhymes – 15 Reviews on Goodreads (currently at 1)

Pensando en Metáforas – 10 Reviews on Goodreads (currently at 0)

Twenty Veinte – 15 reviews on Goodreads (currently at 2)

Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore – 15 reviews on Goodreads (currently at 5)

Please note I say review and not rating. Although I appreciate the ratings immensely, I’m asking for full reviews. I know it’s a lot of effort, but the giveaway will be my way of justifying this milestone.

So what’s up for grabs?

A box with all 10 of my published books signed and dedicated to celebrate this victory. The books are valued at $130 and in case you’re wondering they’ll be sent to ANYWHERE in the world. That’s right, this giveaway is open to anywhere within this Earth where the means to receive a package exist, no exceptions. My only other request is that any review you post on Goodreads you share on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or on social media. If you do an unboxing video, you’ll also make my day big time (Just sayin :D ).

So there you have it. I’m asking you to give it to me straight. Give it to me hard. And help me become a better writer.

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

Updated on August 3, 2017

Why I don’t believe in celebrating Pride Day

Pride is not a one-day thing. Pride as defined by dictionary.com means: “a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.” Pride as is being expressed during the month of June is more closely aligned to the love and support for people who identify themselves as being part of the LGBTQ community.

And that’s the thing.

I also don’t believe in the LGBTQ community.

I believe in community.

I don’t want labels to describe my friends even if they want to use them as part of their identity. That’s their right but I refuse to see gender even if I do recognize and respect it. I don’t like, follow, interact, help, love, or even tolerate people based on demographics.

That said, I have a lot of gay friends. I have a lot of lesbian friends. I have friends who’d rather be gender neutral. The only thing I don’t have close to me is someone who is fully transgender, and that’s mainly because life hasn’t put someone on my path to get close to. I know same sex couples who are parents, and they do a wonderful job raising their children. I find no issue with them doing as such but I do find issue with having to say that as if it’s some kind of miracle.

Unfortunately, life is full of different measuring sticks and some are grossly unfair. People are measured, considered, and judged for who and how they are. What also bothers me is that gender dominates the identity of many people where everything they read is LGBTQ oriented and if you don’t read LGBTQ authors, you’re in the wrong. Writing diversely because you’re interested in exploring that is wonderful, but including diverse characters and topics to cater to the market harms stories because it feels and comes off as disingenuous. That said, I do believe more variety will lead to good things and we should embrace diversity rather than demand it.

During pride parades you can see a lot of people who are very flamboyant and that also causes backlash and disgust from conservative people. It sounds awful to write, but rather than pander and cover the sun with our hands, let’s recognize that there are people that aren’t equipped to have that conversation. I’m not saying it makes sense, I’m saying that some people are incapable of acceptance or even tolerance. It’s sad to see that in the 21^st century, this still happens. It’s very worrying to know that in Russia being gay might earn you a disappearance or a mugging. It’s scary to know that friends of mine who live in very conservative circles are at risk of physical harm and emotional abuse just because of who they’re attracted to.

“It goes against the Bible.”

“It’s unnatural!”

“God hates fags.”

These are three awful statements people use to somehow justify hate crimes, intolerance, and beyond. Being gay can get you fired in some states. It can get you killed in some countries. This is not hearsay, this is reality… and it makes no sense.

To me, I am proud of my LGBTQ friends for having the audacity to be who they are, to embrace who they are, to love freely, to not judge, to have an open mind, for being made of strong fiber, for insisting on truth rather than comforting others, for standing up for what they believe in, and for loving and making love to whomever the hell they want.

Conservatives are disgusted by homosexuals? No worries. I’m disgusted by conservatives who are disgusted by homosexuals so we’re even… but more important than that, we’re equal. I know a lot of people think otherwise, but if homosexuality is the worst crime a person does in their life versus god fearing heterosexuals that cheat taxes, rape college students, catcall women, shame people, discriminate based on religion, skin color, race, AND gender, then guess what, I’d rather a gay friend who offers kindness with no strings attached than other people who offer support but with a condition.

Which brings me to the title. Why don’t I believe in celebrating Pride Day?

Simple.

Because I believe in celebrating a Proud Life.

Peace, love, and maki rolls to all.

Ps.: That's a rainbow roll and I'll gladly share it with anyone I care for :)