If you want to be miserable in life, always maintain the need to be cool as a priority. It’s the easiest way to misery because society and other people will end up defining what you’re supposed to be to be satisfied with yourself and how you’re supposed to be happy.
The desire to be admired, loved, or looked at as some sort of example is something that’s firmly ingrained within our bodies and minds. That’s because approval feels good and is addictive and why wouldn’t it be? It’s validation of who we are and how we are?
And it’s also pure fiction and utter hell.
Peer pressure happens when people do something to be accepted by others. Studying something you don’t want to is your way of being cool for your parents and to not seem like a train wreck. Being in a relationship with someone who is popular but not completely to your liking is yet another way of how being cool and hip can lead you to misery and there are countless ways this can be expressed.
Stop being cool.
Stop needing to be awesome for the sake of approval.
Be the best version of you and do things that define you for who you are and what you believe in. Not what’s in season, not what’s fashionable, not what’s awesome.
Public acceptance is a socio-cultural opiate in the sense that you can easily get hooked on it and in the sense that eventually, you’ll need more and more approval to feed your need. It is a path to feeling empty and it is as dangerous as any illegal drug because when you do things that are counter-intuitive to whom you are as a person for the sake of appeasing, THAT’S when you can start losing yourself.
To be honest, I’ve always been very stubbornly me. I’m definitely a work in progress but a long time ago I stopped apologizing for who I am as a person even if I do consistently apologize for things that I do. Face it, we can do and say things that can turn out poorly and apologizing should always be an option… but in regards to who I am, what I’m interested in, what my passions are, and my beliefs? I shall never apologize for that because it is who I am. I can allow myself to listen to new points of view because we can learn from everyone by being open to new information. But who I am, my genetic and spiritual DNA? That’s my business and my business only.
For me I shall always value genuineness over what’s cool. Cool is an accurate way to describe it actually. Anything that is defined by temperature can be easily influenced by our exterior circumstances. But something that is genuine? That never changes, and neither should you when it comes to the human you are.
Peace, love, and maki rolls