Ok, so just by my lineup of names, I think it shows I’m a fan of the show. The premise is pretty simple. Sean Evans sits across from you as you eat 10 chicken wings with ever increasing levels of heat and he asks some amazingly in depth questions while your face melts and you answer them. Finishing the 10 wings grants you 30 seconds to plug whatever’s going on in your life and then you can pass out from all the Scollvilles running around your system. [NOTE: The Scoville scale is a measurement of the pungency (spiciness or "heat") of chili peppers and other spicy foods, as recorded in Scoville Heat Units (SHU) based on the concentration of capsaicinoids, among which capsaicin is the predominant component.[3][4][5][6][7] The scale is named after its creator, American pharmacist Wilbur Scoville, whose 1912 method is known as the Scoville organoleptic test.[3][8] – From Wikipedia, verify at your own leisure]
Ok, so why in god’s name would I want to be on this show and why might it be fun to have me on HOT ONES. Here’s my top 10 reasons:
1. Well for starters, it’d mean I’d accomplished something noteworthy and earned a spot on the show. The people who get invited have had some sort of success or have earned a spot because of their contributions to something.
2. I’m ALWAYS amazed at the research Sean and company invest into the questions. They don’t ask BS or boiler plate queries and I’m fascinated by their ability to come up with endlessly memorable questions to create endlessly memorable moments in an interview. Also, since your face is on fire, there’s little to no filter and you’ll answer honestly. Sean’s IQ as an interviewer is also impressive as it gets and he pivots and adjusts accordingly with what each interviewer gives or does not give. Seriously, I've seen the guy carry an interview when the guest isn't cooperating and he could EASILY make a hell of a life coach with how many people he is able to fully navigate to the end of the wings.
3. No filters. You can say whatever you want and it’s game. No bleeps. Adult language encouraged. Lord knows what'll come out of my mouth beyond fire and that might be very interesting.
4. I’m super curious as to the flavor of all the hot sauces. I actually do enjoy a good hot sauce and have known to hate some for just being obnoxiously spicy with no flavor. I do taste-test videos on Instagram and people seem to enjoy the thoughts that go through my face. I think offering a review in real time of each hot sauce could be interesting. Plus, there's always Da Bomb, also known as the hot sauce almost universally panned and hated by guests and Sean. (Michael Cera is the only one who has seemed to kind of enjoy it).
5. I’m Puerto Rican and my native language is Spanish. I’m also half Cuban so there’s volume to my voice (Don't be fooled by my YouTube channel). The combination of these two things I believe would make for some interesting bilingual commentary, or in layman’s terms, it might be hella funny to see me breathing fire while cursing in at least two languages (No guarantees I won't speak in tongues).
6. Sean often does a deep dive into people’s Instagram and I think I’ve shared enough things on my IG to inspire some fun finds. If you don’t follow me on Instagram, then look me up and see if I’m full of it or not.
7. I don’t think there’s been an indie author on the show and pretty sure there haven’t been many Puerto Ricans. Come on, Sean, those are some nice boxes to tick off :D
8. It looks like brutally painful fun… and I’m a curious cat.
9. I honestly think I could surprise Sean with one or two things I could do on the show… and that doesn’t include pooping my pants since that’s already been done.
10. I respect the craft that goes into Hot Ones and if I can get a couple more people to watch, then why the hell not? I honestly look forward to every Thursday to see new episodes and watching SO many of the episodes just makes you appreciate the Hot Ones crew for what they do week after week and for what Sean endures in the name of entertainment and asking some of the hottest questions in the world.
So if you’d like to help a scruffy indie author out, read, review me, mention me in tweets along with Sean (@seanseaevans) and the First We Feast Channel (@firstwefeast), and think positive thoughts in the hopes that one day I too can destroy my taste buds in front of the warrior that is Sean for your entertainment.
Peace, love, maki rolls, and hot wings!!!
JD
I've watched most of the hot ones episodes, though I admit I skip many of the rapper or athlete episodes. I think you and Sean could have a good time. "So we've done a deep dive on your Instagram and we've seen a disturbing amount of bananas and socks, any kind of Freudian metaphor there?"
ReplyDeleteI've been surprised by a couple of rappers and athletes who are quite eloquent, which shows it goes beyond the persona. And hey, you know I'd take some epic new socks AND do a 00 Bananas Dab :D
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