Transactional relationships (n.):
People who interact with others while always focusing on how they can benefit from this contact.
Does that sound rough? Maybe; but it’s pretty true and there are a couple of truths like this. For starters…some people will not care about you, your projects, or your dreams…let alone your success or your wellbeing. They will only want to know how you can help them out with their to-do list.
In plainer words, they’ll only be interested in you as long as you can benefit them.
Some might be interested in connections you have; others will only be focused on selling you a product or service. Emotionally speaking, some people will always welcome your presence when they need a shoulder to cry on but when you’re in a pinch or feeling down, they’re not nearly as accessible. That’s because them having to invest in you takes away from them - their time, their energy, and beyond.
It’s a shame, but it happens. When it comes to fellow authors, some people will gladly exchange 5-star reviews…which to me is neither normal or legitimate. I rate as I see fit and a pre-existing rating is not something I’m in favor of and will get anyone expediently filed on the unfollow list or just keep at a distance. I will always be honest with how I rate a book in regards to how I feel about it when I read it. I don’t expect anyone to give me a 5-star review because I’m a nice guy or retaliate if I have something to say about their work. I’ve gotten 3-star reviews that were spot on and I appreciate them. I’ve also gotten empty 5-star reviews and what I feel are unfair ratings, both good and bad.
But there are different examples. Some people don’t know any better and just ALWAYS lead with what they’re doing, what they need, and them being at the beginning, middle, and end of a conversation. I always try and make sure that I ask how people are doing and how things are with them and I will admit that I’m awful at asking for help or favors because it’s just uncomfortable for me for a variety of reasons, but that’s me.
So if you’re even in a situation where you kind of feel pressured to do X or Y thing or as if some people just want to use you for their benefit, then feel free to take an honest look and see if it’s worth your time to continue with that contact. Some people are still great even when they lead with all things them. But other people, not so much, and if last year taught us anything it’s that we should always strive to invest our time and energy in the best way possible.
Peace, love, and maki rolls.
Does that sound rough? Maybe; but it’s pretty true and there are a couple of truths like this. For starters…some people will not care about you, your projects, or your dreams…let alone your success or your wellbeing. They will only want to know how you can help them out with their to-do list.
In plainer words, they’ll only be interested in you as long as you can benefit them.
Some might be interested in connections you have; others will only be focused on selling you a product or service. Emotionally speaking, some people will always welcome your presence when they need a shoulder to cry on but when you’re in a pinch or feeling down, they’re not nearly as accessible. That’s because them having to invest in you takes away from them - their time, their energy, and beyond.
It’s a shame, but it happens. When it comes to fellow authors, some people will gladly exchange 5-star reviews…which to me is neither normal or legitimate. I rate as I see fit and a pre-existing rating is not something I’m in favor of and will get anyone expediently filed on the unfollow list or just keep at a distance. I will always be honest with how I rate a book in regards to how I feel about it when I read it. I don’t expect anyone to give me a 5-star review because I’m a nice guy or retaliate if I have something to say about their work. I’ve gotten 3-star reviews that were spot on and I appreciate them. I’ve also gotten empty 5-star reviews and what I feel are unfair ratings, both good and bad.
But there are different examples. Some people don’t know any better and just ALWAYS lead with what they’re doing, what they need, and them being at the beginning, middle, and end of a conversation. I always try and make sure that I ask how people are doing and how things are with them and I will admit that I’m awful at asking for help or favors because it’s just uncomfortable for me for a variety of reasons, but that’s me.
So if you’re even in a situation where you kind of feel pressured to do X or Y thing or as if some people just want to use you for their benefit, then feel free to take an honest look and see if it’s worth your time to continue with that contact. Some people are still great even when they lead with all things them. But other people, not so much, and if last year taught us anything it’s that we should always strive to invest our time and energy in the best way possible.
Peace, love, and maki rolls.
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