The Tale of 42

Beyond 365 days (occasionally 366), what’s in a year? There are ups, downs, segues, side roads, detours, dead ends, adjustments, long hauls, short bursts, bright moments, dark times, and everything in between. We so often try to capture what happened in that year, yet the reality is that for however good our memory is, even with a journal, we’ll miss things or misremember things.

Year 42 was actually a very good year. It had some very important and necessary life and career changes, it had two new books and progress in others, it had good food, great company, and me finding my ground again, after a shaky ride in my 41st year. Yet somehow, last year I forgot to write a birthday post...and I just fully realized this by checking my backlog on the blog.

It’s curious because for me, posts like this are important and it’s also curious because I do tend to overthink and overstress when I miss something for whatever reason. And I didn't even remember. In the last year, I’ve made several events and I’ve had to cancel a few. I’ve pivoted, I’ve improvised, I’ve said “screw it, I’m doing this because I want to,” and I’ve also said, “screw it, I don’t want to do this because I don’t want to.” I've also said no, because I couldn't, and that's OK too.

Thinking about last year, I think it makes sense that I didn’t write about it because I was still in the middle of a journey of sorts. Of relearning, of unlearning, of forgiving, of speaking kindly to myself, of challenging false narratives, and highlighting truths that we tend to overlook because negative events and things tend to weigh a bit more and actually bring us down.

If it sounds like it’s been a bit intense, well it’s because it has been. There’s been a lot of lessons yet also a lot of enjoying and plenty of smile. I’m still in the process of clearing up a few things in my path, though I have a better idea of things I want to do, things I don’t care for, and things I will continue to work on, because life is a continuous stream.

It doesn’t matter if we confuse the year of something funny or memorable that happened. It’s important to remember the event and how it made us feel. That’s because memory is the one type of story-telling we all share. Yes, even those who say they aren’t creative and can’t write a story. We can talk about how false that is later, but yes, even you tell stories through memories. 

And that’s more important than you can even begin to imagine.

Because it means you’re in control of your story. 

I’m not saying to fabricate things, even though we all have those friends with tall tales that are as plausible as pigs suddenly learning how to fly. I’m saying that life happens and it’s always up to us the light we use to remember things by. 

For years, I’ve focused on trying to use every experience as either inspiration or a learning experience and in the last year and a half, that has included reframing some pretty intense times I’ll write about later. Yet I was able to. I was able to mine silver linings where you would only think to find a septic tank. I’ve been able to learn new things in my 40s that I’m sure will be with me until the day that I die and it was a kind reminder that there’s so much to live, learn, enjoy, share and be thankful for.

So here’s to finding any and all means to always be able to quote Monty Python and sing, Always look on the bright side of life.

Thanks for joining me for a new year and here's to all the stories and lessons ahead. Bring on 43.

Peace, love, and birthday cake