A reality about help

It is always a lovely thing to cheer someone up. Given our globally communicated reality, we can all cheer up friends anywhere around the world. Even in our daily lives it’s always possible to cheer someone up.

But this runs a risk.

When someone is cheered up by someone else, there lies a gamble of addiction or dependency. That’s because if you look hard enough, you will find someone nice enough to cheer you up and people in general become your “fix”.

For some time, I’ve followed a person on Instagram and I’ve seen this addiction take control of this person’s life. They always manage to be sad, angry, frustrated or what have you and their feed is full of people, kind wonderful people, offering support.

Here’s my worry expressed in a formula:

Sad / angry / pouty = love and support

If they say they’re ugly, they’re told they’re beautiful. If they say life sucks, they’re given hope and it continues that way because it’s learned behavior and at least for this person, it never stops and it is never enough.

The reality is that for it to last, happiness needs to come from within. Otherwise you’ll always need to depend on someone else to find something you already have within... and that’s not much help at all. 

A Lilly gets back to the water

It seems 2014 has been a heavy year for many people. People close to me and people whom I know through the media. One of these people I know from being a fan is Lilly Pollard; a wonderful, beautiful, fun loving, big wave charging Australian pro bodyboarder that charges way harder than me. On a smallish day at a spot called Mystics, Lilly took a very bad wipeout that ended up fracturing several vertebrae in the process. To help her out I donated $40 to her cause. Although it might not be much, it was a small piece that helped her get the care she needed. I actually wrote a post and donated anything I earned that week.

I wrote that piece for many reasons though two come to mind most of all: 1.) if you feel the urge to help, then I think you should help, so I did and 2.) Lilly is a true ambassador to bodyboarding and even the smallest bit of assistance was more than a worthy cause. The interesting thing is that during her recovery, I have been able to learn many more things that truly show why Lilly is someone I can look up to.

There are three key things that you need if you have a serious condition or suffer a really bad accident:

1. Discipline: Lilly’s discipline is second to none. Exercises, nutrition, therapy, you name it and she’s doing it because her will is to get back in the water as fast as possible and show people she is a woman of steel (especially when it comes to her resolve). She is not waiting for things to get better, she is active in making things better and not settling for her best. 

2. Patience: Sustaining an injury or having an illness that immobilizes you is one of the most frustrating things that can happen. My experience is limited to a back sprain I had three years ago that had me bedridden a week. Lilly was basically immobilized for weeks until they were able to take the brace off and let her start on the road to recovery. Throughout every aspect, she’s shown patience of biblical proportions and truly is an example to look at every time your computer freezes to have more patience with the things that matter.

3. A positive outlook: In traction, Lilly gave a thumbs up with a huge smile on her face for a picture. Throughout her process, she has maintained an amazing attitude and again, a true example to follow. Regardless of how she’s felt, she’s maintained that positive outlook, that beaming smile and a happy go lucky attitude that is a wonderful lesson for all.

A few days ago she had her first surf in months in gentle waves and her thrill was infectious (see picture below). I remembered those times I’ve surfed just for the hell of it, and oftentimes, those are some of the best sessions, because you surf just to have fun. You’re not out to land a huge air, or score a barrel, you’re just out there, looking to get on a wave, any ride and you are thankful for that. 

So here’s to being thankful for the ride we’re on. The wave can be pretty long, it might get bumpy, though in the end, it’s all about enjoying the ride. 

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Just be-cause

Although it’s good to support a large cause, it’s also good to support smaller, more individual causes, because face it, sometimes we need a hand.

Earlier in the year, I wrote a post about professional bodyboarder Lilly Pollard and her cause. I said whatever I made off my book, I’d donate and I was able to donate a small amount ($40 US), which was a grain of sand that helped her achieve the goal she needed to get to. I wrote on that occasion because I realized that if I could use words to help someone out, it wouldn’t be the only time. (Btw, update on her progress will be forthcoming, probably tomorrow).

Recently, a friend I actually met through writing was in a very bad car crash. If you’ve ever been in the US, you can imagine that any type of help you can get for treatment, it’s a godsend. Kym Davis is a lovely graphic artist who works in advertising and in her heyday actually had a super fun blog I followed regularly when I worked at places where the term firewall would probably refer to someone lighting something on fire, probably a wall, though that's just me mincing words. Following the trend earlier this year, I wanted to give another shoutout and put any proceeds of my book up to her treatment. I already posted $40 and again, it’s a little grain of sand that can help her on her road to recovery. 

So here it is, for one week starting on Monday July 28 to Sunday August 3, all proceeds from Between the Tides and Only Human go to help Kym to pave the road to recovery.

Cheers, thanks for reading and thanks for caring. 

A Lilly needs some water and a helping hand

I’m a firm believer in offering a helping hand to good people when the going gets tough. I’ve been fortunate enough to have people offer such a hand to me and the very least I can do is pay it forward.

This past March 25, Women’s Professional Bodyboarder Lilly Pollard took off on a wave, got pitched by the lip and landed head first against the sandbar, fracturing several vertebrae in the process. Luckily some wonderful people were nearby who carefully took her from the water and lay her on the sand until assistance came.

I follow countless bodyboarders, among them Lilly.Although I’ll expand more on women’s bodyboarding in the future, suffice to say, she is a wonderful character, full of life and spirit, and I wanted to offer any help I could, hence me sharing this story with you and I thank anyone kind enough to read it.

So this is me, endeavoring to do my little bit to help Lilly and here are my top five reasons for doing so:

1. Like many bodyboarders, she is genuinely friendly, kind to strangers, is full of stoke and always has a class A smile to anyone who says “g’day”.

2.  She is a charger, often going on waves in conditions that would make many a bodyborder tremble, me included, Lilly truly shows that the sport I love is well and truly an equal playing field between men and women.

3. She’s one of a very few professional athletes who is openly bisexual and demonstrates that gender is a non-issue when it comes to being a stand-up human being.

4. I'd say she's bubbly as champagne, though being that's she's so cool, I'd rather say, she's bubbly like a nice cold beer, plus: she is an ambassador of a community that means a lot to me.

5. I think as humans, we think we are just one person and can we really make that much of a difference, I would most definitely like to try rather than just wonder.

So here goes, today I’ll be putting up money to help out her cause and I’ve put the link to her cause below.

If anyone else, yes, one person at a time would like to help as well you can click on the link or for anyone that would like to buy my book Only Human, for this week any new sale, I will donate all profit to Lilly's cause. If you happen to buy the book because of this post, please, send me an email to jdestradawriter@gmail.com with a screenshot of your buy and you’ll also receive a poem I’ll be including in a forthcoming poetry compilation not yet released.

To see Lilly’s cause, click here.

Only Human is available on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Thanks for taking the time to read and cheers to Lilly for a speedy recovery to get her back where the best lilies belong, in the water.

Peace, love and maki rolls