Thursday, March 9, 2017

I’ll sleep when I’m dead

I’m often asked how I do all the things I do without losing my mind. The truth is that I try not to focus on all the things I end up finishing and sharing because if I did, I might be distracted or lulled into complacency. But that changes nothing from the fact that I do get tired and my body and mind at times do feel run down… but I’ve found that more often than not, there’s a second wind to be found or maybe I’m just stubborn.

Thinking of the proper way to explain it, I can find no better example than sayans from the Dragonball series. In these cartoons, martial artists that are really half ape aliens have super powers and if you go back far enough, they even have tails. But what is consistent is that to get to the next level, a sayan has to be pushed to the brink of death to reach a higher power level. I am also reminded of the Last Dragon and countless other 80’s and 90’s movies that used this trope. The funny thing is that it’s not necessarily a trope.

In my life I’ve known to work myself to exhaustion on plenty of occasions but I’ve also known to find something liberating in proving the odds wrong and pushing through. I’ve known to write while going through a breakdown and pull myself out of the wreckage of my mind one step and one word at a time, which should indicate where I’m going with this.

I’ve broken a few times in my life and writing has always been there to save me. When I had my first burnout because of a job I poured myself into a blog I used to write in. It was guttural, raw, and is probably the reason why I went into writing for real. As a teen and an adult, heartbreak was never easy to cope with, and what was there? Writing.

So you ask me, am I tired? Yes. Am I pulling myself thin by doing so many things? Maybe. But will I stop? Nope. A lovely friend has said many a time that she’ll sleep when she’s dead and although I hold true to that, I’m wiser than I used to be. I know when to ease off the gas rather than push through, not because I’m quitting, but because I’ve seen that taking it down a few notches lets me get to that second wind to push the nitro.

Working in advertising, stamina is something that comes into play QUITE often. I’ve lost that battle quite a few times and I’ve known the worst way to live, i.e. not eat healthy, not exercise, drink too much coffee, work 15 hr days, work 90 hr weeks, drink to cope, and not listen to my body. With age apparently comes wisdom, or maybe I understand the things my body is telling me better. So when I see life is bringing a sharp turn, I brake or ease off the gas. But when there’s a straightaway and no cops in sight… best not get in my way.

Stay tuned, dear frands, I may be in a curve… but I smell the open road and rain in the wind… so let us write a storm.

Peace, love, and maki rolls 

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