In search of my Tao

Since they are taking TED Talks off Netflix, I have binge watched several talks. Yes, I know I can see them for free online, but rest assured, I adore spending time away from the computer and the comfort of watching a TED Talk on a larger screen while lounging on a couch is priceless.

NOTE: this is equally wonderful for anything you watch. Seriously, lounging on a couch is a lovely way to watch TV because then when I do other things I literally have to get my tuckus OFF the couch.

So taking that into consideration, I’ve watched upwards of 40 TED Talks (not in a row) and it got me into thinking of what I will do in my life. For those who don’t know, I recently resigned from the corporate job I had been in for 7 years in favor of pursuing several endeavors and investing my time more wisely.

NOTE: I’m not always on the couch, so no worries. I like staying busy. I might occasionally drape myself on a lounge chair as well, but that's besides the point.

So a couple of questions I’ve asked myself during my life and more so the last couple of years came on a crawling through my consciousness the last few weeks, most notably:

What do I want to achieve?

NOTE: Do NOT confuse this with what I will do to make ends meet until things hit critical mass (that’s another post).

Instead, look to these questions for a better example of what was running through my brain:

What is my mission?

Who am I as a human, a professional, a creative individual, a writer, a singer songwriter?

Why am I that way?

Then I’ve thought of how a post I’ve written has set me on a route to commit something to a public forum to be accountable. To remind myself, you SAID you would do this, so do this. You SAID you wanted to do something, so WHAT are you doing to achieve the thing. NO excuses. This is not a trial, but your oath to what you want to achieve.
So then I get to ask myself what are my vision and mission. If JD Estrada stands for something, what does JD Estrada stand for?

And here are a couple of answers.

What’s My Mission?
To have a positive impact through my craft. To promote values, to invite people to think, to never take my audience for granted, to challenge the status quo, while still being kind. To offer fresh perspectives and truly demonstrate that everything has NOT been written and we are not rehashing old ideas. That is a defeatist attitude and we have enough of that going on. The mission, the base mission is to create and to give purpose to what we create. To embrace the power of a story and demonstrate we can improve the world one story at a time.

What’s my vision?
To be an ambassador of creativity, whatever that may mean every day. To look at every single day as an opportunity to create, to have fun, to do something meaningful, to help, to make someone smile or laugh. To inspire people to throw caution to the wind, ignore naysayers and share their most genuine self.

What are my values:

• Creativity to share the best of our humanity 
• To cultivate common ground where perspectives can be shared with respect and an open heart 
• Create obeying your inner self to be true to you while being of service to others 
• Inspire others so they can release the world within them 
• When the opportunity to help arises, take it 
• Dance beyond your comfort zone 
• Smile

I am a writer from Puerto Rico. I was born from a Cuban mother and a Puerto Rican father and these are my current projects:

The Human Cycle – my exploration of humanity through fiction. A very personal work that takes Tolkien elements, mashes it up with Jungian psychology and countless other influences to create a perspective of the world and humanity as I see it. There are vampires, therians, photogeni, and a whole lot of exploration of humanity.

Daydreams on the Sherbet Shore – Although YA in tone and content, the mission is to create smiles across the world and bridge the gaps distance and other factors may create. We are one world and we can all dream together.

Poetry – exploring the world, emotions, humanity, and trivial things to show the inherent beauty in bliss and pain and everything in between. Life is beautiful and poetry is the literary reminder of this.

Workshops - to give perspectives at a community level and corporate level to inspire people to offer the best of their humanity. This is me dancing beyond my comfort zone again. I want to make a positive impact in the community and in a company. Why? Because the more we nurture a community, the more we can do and why a company? Because in these vast wastelands of malaise, frustration, and disenchantment with life, I’d like to remind that life is good and that every day we can do something to be happy even on the job. If you want more info on this, drop a comment and I'll gladly share with you what's in store.

Visual Typos – Every Monday the mission is to help bring at least ONE smile to the world. If I get more, awesome. But my aim is to make at least ONE person laugh to show that in mistakes there is an opportunity to smile and laugh and that being silly is good for the soul.

For writing out loud – my blog where I allow my messages and creative perspectives to converge into one online hub. It is as personal as it gets and I’m always pushing to go deeper and share perspectives with more people. I love guest bloggers who want to collaborate or who want to contribute. So in short, if you have an idea, write me and let’s make something together.

Teactionary – Every Tuesday I profess my love for tea in a creative manner as cerebral as it can be silly. Humor can have several layers to it as can some of the most savory things in life.

SkyThoughts – Every Wednesday I look at the sky and offer positive thoughts to inspire harmony and a warm smile. They are not pre-made, they are where my head and soul are at that moment to show we can invite light to shine even on hard days and send good intentions across the world.

Blanc Comics – They are my invitation to artists of all ages and around the world to help me see my stories so that it becomes OUR story.

The Perception Collective – This project aims to promote tolerance and acceptance of different points of view to promote harmony and peace. In a period of time where there are countless polarizing things occurring and there are people who crave the divide, I want to speak to all the people who would rather come together than grow apart in the hopes we can change a few minds and give our best.

These are several of the things I am working on or will work on. It is a first draft but it’s pretty close to what I have in my heart. Can it evolve? Of course As can I. But I just wanted to share this with all the people who read me and who are kind enough to believe in me and share this journey with me. If you like what you see, let me know. If there’s something you’d like to see, let me know. If you have any question, let me know. :D

My thanks for everyone who reads this and for your support.

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

The book you didn't like

As an indie writer, I know how challenging it can be to get reviews for your books. It's one of the biggest hurdles any writer faces, indie or traditionally published and one I understand too well.

So what happens when you read a book you don't like? What happens if the person in question isn't mean, did their best, and it just didn't connect with you?

You write a review.

Even if it's a bad one.

Because a bad review is better than no review, although I'll get back to this later.

The two main things I put forth in a review focus on being honest and on not being mean. The first one is easy. Did you like a book? Why did you like it or didn't like it? Don't offer spoilers and instead focus on your experience with the book. But be honest. To me, that's one of the key things in life because if you're not honest, what good is your review. The second bit is that you shouldn't be mean, which isn't difficult either. Too often people read a book they really dislike and rip it to shreds and are heartless about it. That only serves to fuel your ego and it isn't cool.

I recently read The Brass Giant by Brooke Johnson and as I wrote on my review on Goodreads, I didn't particularly love her book and gave my reasons why I didn't like it and also shared what I DID like.

For me, my five star review rating system goes something like this:

1 star: why the hell did you write this? (I've never given a 1 star review because if it deserves 1 star, that I finished it is a sad miracle in and of itself)

2 stars: I finished the book but if this were a series, I don't think I'll stick around for the rest.

3 stars: I didn't love the book but I might check out the second one if there is a second one.

4 stars: I'm going to read you next time around for sure.

5 stars: I'm thankful to have read this and want more so write more please write more.

I gave Brooke's book 2 stars and explained that it was more than likely to do with my expectations being off target. In short, I've been wanting to read a steampunk book for the longest time and on this occasion, well I read a romance book that had steampunk elements.

Did I say it was a horrible book? No. I said it was not my cup of tea and closed a 2 star review recommending the book thinking of people who might enjoy the book. Now I'm writing this blog post and have included links to her website AND her book, the one I didn't like.

Why?

Because I'm not God. My opinion isn't the end all of it all. And in addition, Brooke took the review well and then some. No doubt a 2 star review stings more than a little and probably some of what I said as well, but she took it with grace and showed that she understands that not everyone will love her book.

I'm sure other people are not as gracious.

For me, I've been lucky that a big chunk of people that have read me have enjoyed my book, but I have had conversations with people who have not liked a book and I always ask what they didn't like and why. I do this not because I'm a masochist but because I want to understand. In her response, Brooke said she was sorry I didn't like the book although she wouldn't apologize for the elements of romance. That is the right answer if you ask me. You don't apologize for what you write. Ever. You say sorry that someone didn't enjoy but you don't apologize for your vision.

Being an author, the temptation to not give a bad review is obviously there. You never want to upset other fans, because heaven forbid that you suffer their backlash. The thing is that beyond a writer and a reader, I am a human and not doing something to avoid upsetting someone is rarely the best route of action.

I gave a 2 star review and that isn't the end of the world neither for Brooke, nor for me. Her book and I didn't click and that's Ok. But I paid for her book, I gave it chance, and I reviewed her book, being honest and thinking of people who would enjoy the book. That's why a bad review is a good thing, because for my 2 star review, I hope I am able to connect it to other readers who ARE looking for what she and other writers have to offer.

There are many cups of tea in life, just because you don't like one, doesn't mean it's rubbish.

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

Minding my own business

When you leave a job, you normally have another. On this occasion, I've opted to go solo and work freelance, to have more time for my writing, and it's been quite the experience. Even at barely 3 weeks since I resigned from my job in favor of pursuing my path, I've done quite a few things and experienced many others.

Throughout this time I've been able to manage my time as I understand it should be and that responsibility, although a bit frightening, is very liberating. Some days I am able to tackle a few tasks and other days I've been able to tackle a week's worth of work. I've focused on my writing, I've played music, I've recorded videos, and I've focused on doing things that make me happy.

What happy means on any given day is a constant evolution and a daily surprise.

Among the highlights, I finished transcribing Book 2 of the Human Cycle and the cover reveal is forthcoming as well as more info. I've written a lot of poetry, ordered new notebooks which arrived, and have talked to people to find projects I can be paid for. That would explain why I was able to proofread an entire textbook in just under two weeks. Opening myself to projects where I can put my skills is refreshing, be it proofreading, translating, developing editorial content, or ad campaigns, helping in the development of presentations, and several other things. The freedom to take on projects as they appear is a lovely change of pace, as has been the chance to manage my to-do list as I best understand I should.

I have also been able to do other things, like donate clothes at the Salvation Army and books to a local community effort in the Condado area in Puerto Rico (see pictures). That means I have time to help others in different ways. I will be doing more of these things because I think it's important to give back and help for the sake of doing a good deed.

There have also been several trips to surf and where I've left the house to write elsewhere. Both have been very good for me and allowed me to be in a good place emotionally. I've worked on several other projects and one does include opening my own Ebay store to send signed copies of my books. This effort will also include other extra surprises I'll be reporting soon. I'll also be exploring working with clients around the world and yes, if you think I can help you with anything, please by all means message me and I'll see what I can do to help. It doesn't matter where you are as long as we can communicate and make great work together.

I've also started to explore the experience of cold-calling schools to ask them for the opportunity to present an educational proposal I've been working on for some time. On the same line, I'm also preparing several workshops I will be offering at a community and professional level, varying in content and just letting me reach out and give things I believe in a shot.

For the longest time I've thought I can make a positive impact in companies and communities as well and this is me giving my best to try to do just what I said. Although I'm just getting started, I feel good at my prospects. I finished another daydream, and am progressing well with new works I'll be presenting at the Puerto Rico Comic Con as well as several other activities I'm planning.

In short, I'm minding my own business in the sense that I'm focusing on what matters to me and making the difference. Thanks for taking the time to read me, join me on several social media platforms and enrich my life. Be it through my writing, my work, or our interactions, I hope I am able to enrich your life as well.

Peace, love, and maki rolls

One of a kind

People aren’t used to kindness. This much has become rather clear to me.

Women are surprised I’ll hold the door open without checking them out. Men will be surprised I hold the door open without being gay or needing a favor. Old ladies smile when I help them with their groceries. If I pass someone a tray at a cafeteria, they look at me weird but smile and eventually remember how to say thank you.

Kindness to me is a way of life and something I put a lot of importance on because I do think one kind act can make the world a better place. I don’t think myself a hero, but I do think myself as an ambassador of kindness because there is so much power in those small acts so many people take for granted.

I’ve been asked if I don’t have situations that discourage me from kindness and the fact is that I often have had situations where people don’t respond in the best way. In Manhattan, I held the door for an older woman and she took another door. I’ve said good morning to people and have them respond: “what’s so great about it?” and others not respond at all.

Like these I have plenty of examples, some even more intense, but I also have the desire to be kind regardless. Like most everyone, I’ve experienced hurt, frustration, and a variety of negative experiences. Regardless of all of that, I still decide to try and give my best and be kind. Even if it’s not appreciated, responded, or noticed, because for every time that’s happened, 20 or more times people have been pleasantly surprised and say thank you. And to me that’s worth the risk and the effort, so I keep being kind.

That’s why I’ll always have an available ear to listen. Because I think it makes a difference and because past experiences shall not define who and how I am. I am one of a kind, not necessarily because I am unique or special, but because whatever cards we’ve been dealt with in life, kindness is and shall always be the best hand to play.

Peace, love, and maki rolls

Ps.: When was the last act of random kindness you did?

A Journey's Genesis

The sails are up, the wind is blowing, and I am on my way.

The sense of freedom that comes from this foray into independence permeates my entire soul, as does the sense of responsibility for whatever happens from here on out. Success is mine to earn or let slip away and I have no intention of that happening.

My ship is as seaworthy as it has ever been and being at the service of others is a refreshing experience. Sure I have to find work to make ends meet, but to know I can put my skills to use to help other people, that’s very rewarding.

As is being able to focus on my work. In 8 days I’ve finished transcribing my second novel and have also proofread and edited 9 chapters. Not bad for being in my adjustment period.

I find myself walking often taking in the sun shining from above, appreciating the gentle caress of a breeze and that had begun even before reaching the point of no return. I write to-do lists and stick to them or adjust accordingly. I’m still getting my bearings a bit, but to know I can work for someone in Puerto Rico, the US, Canada, the UK, Australia, Spain, New Zealand or anywhere they made need something done in English or Spanish is equal parts daunting and exhilarating. For now, I’m still treading familiar ground, but I’m completely open to the possibility of working with people that may benefit from my experience or my newfound freedom.

Throughout, people continue to be massively supportive and I thank each and every person who has had words of support for me. It helps a lot to keep the focus and the motivation and that’s why I’ve made so much headway with my work in so little time while also working on a freelance gig. I was free to manage my time and any shift in priorities was manageable and my decision as I looked at the clock tick.

I still have a lot to learn, a lot to adapt and adjust, a lot to experience… true. Still, the feeling of happiness within me, the nervousness of cold calling a school to ask for an opportunity to present my proposal, it’s all so new, so vibrant, so wonderfully terrifying because I have no idea what will happen… and that’s fantastic.

Sometimes you need to surf a beach you’re not familiar with, sometimes you need to take the safety net off, sometimes you need to toss the training wheels, and sometimes you need to look at the ocean’s horizon, bow in respect to its enormity and say “let’s see what we both have to offer.”

Peace, love, and maki rolls

I yield

There are certain moments in our life where change is not only suggested but felt in every cell of our bodies.

Today is one of those days.

Today I yield to my dreams.

Today ends one chapter.

Today I begin.

Today is my last day at my job.

For the longest time I've been living a double life. Copywriter by day, writer whenever I have time. In this period of time I've written hundreds of posts, I've published one novel, I've released three poetry collections, I've written daydreams and brought them to Raelity and I've dreamed.

Splitting your time between what you have to do to make a living with what you need to do because it is your will, your path, your desire and what moves your soul is draining.

During the last 7 years I've worked for one of the biggest companies in Puerto Rico. I've met hundreds of people and worked on probably thousands of tasks and projects. I've learned a lot but the biggest lesson is that what I was doing, I can't do any more. Not because it's a bad job, not because it's not worthy of me, but because it does not make me happy and there are other things pulling at my soul begging to not delay one more second.

Last year I decided to listen to that voice in me that so often tells people to dream, to dare, to go for it, why not, what have you got to lose? Last year I decided to listen to not only my desire but take a dose of my own advice.

Today is when that chapter comes to an end. Where I let go of comfort and security in favor of what I can be.

Am I scared?

Yes. But not cripplingly so.

It is the first time I'm giving myself the opportunity to demonstrate what I have believed for a long time: that if I give myself the opportunity and give it my all, I can make a difference.

Am I worried?

No. Amazingly so, fear can coexist with desire and dreams. For the first time instead of holding me back from something, fear has pushed me towards something. Quite a few things actually.

The first question most people have asked me is what am I going to do.

The simple answer: a lot.

I will write more and write on my own time. I have several projects coming to a close that need to see the light of day in this year and I'm going to guarantee that happens. I shall not wish. I shall do.

I will offer workshops at a professional and a community level. I have worked full time for over 13 years in 7 companies and I have learned things I want to share in the hopes of helping others through my experiences condensed in a presentation and collateral material. They will be offered in English and Spanish, because I live a bilingual life and I need to help others bilingually, so to speak.

I will go to schools with an educational proposal geared towards promoting tolerance of points of view so that people of all ages, especially young people, can accept varying perspectives and hopefully get along better and be better people.

I will also work freelance as an editor, translator, copy writer, communicator, proof reader, content developer, and public relations communication expert. I'll do this in part because we all need to start somewhere and because all of these skills have made me the writer and human I am today and I want to keep them with me.

I believe in what I have to offer. I believe in my work. I believe in what I can share. I believe in the power of common ground and I want to plant whatever seeds I can to help something grow.

If you've ever believed in me, thank you. I will work hard to prove you right. I will continue to give the best of me, to write to the height of what I am capable of writing. I will continue to be true to me.

Now is the time I will give everything to make good on the belief other people have in me. Some people are driven to prove naysayers wrong. I can get that motivation, but I'd rather focus on the people that offer me support, which are plenty.

If you've ever been on the fence over reading me, sharing my work, or reviewing me, I humbly ask that you jump off that fence. I have jumped off my fence and it has been a liberating experience to put it lightly.

In this moment, I am thankful to a lot of people and a lot of things, but I am endlessly thankful to my wife. She has been incredibly supportive of this decision. She's told me to go for it. She's reassured me that everything will be Ok and meant it. She has looked me straight in the eye and told me she's proud of me for this decision and to embrace this new chapter. She's helped me through some really rough times and helped me become a better man through them. I love you, Janelis, I thank you, and I promise to prove you right.

Along with her, my mother has been incredibly supportive as well, as have been my best friends. Trobi, Antonio, Andrew, Esteban, Wanda, Joaquín and Alex from my analog life, have been pillars in my life and shall continue to be so, helping me to be a better me and offering me the kind reminder that we can always be better. My brothers Juanky and Kibu who continue to give me great examples to be as me as I can be. And several people who have broken down digital walls and distance to be there with me, if I list people, I shall omit someone, which is unacceptable, but some people need mentioning, so I'll risk it. Of special note are Cate Evans who has offered me unyielding friendship, kindness, love and support for years and pushed me to always be the best of me as a human and a writer and to never settle for second best, Karen Ohren, who was the reason I decided to release the poet within again, Larysia Woropay for believing in herself and making it easier to believe in myself, Amanda Armstrong, Sheila Bliss, Veronica Brannon, Seema Tabassum, Kevin Odinsknot, Eric Syrdal, Michelle C, Sarah Brentyn, Pat Sherard, Kay Gardner, Stephen Cleath, and Katya Lipnitskaya, for massive support and for sharing their dreams, Sarah & Katie Loken, Amy Dionne, and Nadia Fortuna for helping me see we can all heal for the better, and Emily Irizarry and Marilyn Ward for being truly inspiring to me.

There are many more people, hundreds in fact. People to whom I'm thankful and I'm sure I would mention if I continued this list. But I'll stop myself here. I will thank you by name and reason one day... but for now I have to finish this post, to finish my last day on the job and celebrate the first day of my true work.

Thankful, grateful, dreaming, and believing. This is me and if you've enjoyed what you've seen so far, get ready, I'm just getting started.

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

Jared Houston – The Kind Giant Slayer

It takes a lot of talent to become a bodyboarding champion. It also takes fearlessness, commitment, dedication, and yes, even a little luck. When people look back on Jared Neil Houston’s maiden championship, they will remember it as one of the craziest most dramatic years ever. During his 2015 campaign, Jared had some of his highest highs, some of his lowest lows and enough stress to run a locomotive from here to the moon.

He also showed the heart of a true champion. Rooting for Jared is easy. Being one of the most stylish riders on the planet is one reason and that he is beyond kind is another. He’s also insanely human and very open with his emotions.

During the year, everyone has highlight events/waves/sessions. But this year, Jared on occasion was offered the perfect platform to show how much guts is needed to win and he never disappointed. If you want to see one hell of a performance, check his highlights from the Arica Chilean Challenge. In the event he posted the highest scores and busted one of the craziest airs I’ve ever seen in competition… actually, THREE of the craziest airs I’ve ever seen in competition over jagged unforgiving reef. On his 10 Point ride, he took off on what had to be a 9 foot wave that pushed him onto a 12 foot section and the word hesitation didn’t occur to him ever. That he saw the wave and took off shows courage, that instead of a barrel he gunned to hit the section shows he is on par with Tamega, Stewart, and several other crazy riders who did not come with the fear chip included when they were born. In that event he beat out an in form Amaury Lavernhe who is not only probably the fittest bodyboarder on tour, but who is so crazy consistent it’s like watching clockwork unfolding on a wave. They scored identically but in the count back, Jared had the higher scoring wave and got the nod after launching a massive air off a left that ends up in super shallow reef.


In addition, he won in some of the crappiest conditions during the year. Showing he can go big or tackle conditions that aren’t favorable. He also lost momentum with a couple of early exits during the year, most painfully in his showing in the Encanto Pro at Middles beach in Puerto Rico. Which is where I saw Jared go through as many emotions in a 24 hour period as anyone can and where I saw the guy who will always have me rooting for him.

If you had the best professional heat of your career, what would you do? I’m not sure, but for Jared, the answer shows the true heart of a champion. He hung out with his baby girl on the beach. It wasn’t as if he’d just gotten a perfect ten and gotten out of the water after hitting an air forward spin and a backflip. But there he was, fully aware of the world title stakes in the moment, and he was just chilling with his girl while his wife ran yet another flawless event (but more on Natasha Sagardia in another post).

I was so pumped for him and blown away that this epic rider is a down to earth dad. In his next heat, he got off to a great start and he was with Nelson Flores, a young rider from Chile and 3 time world champion Jeff Hubbard. The beach was abuzz with people lamenting the poor young rider on getting such a tough draw… and apparently he heard us, proceeding to combo both Jared and Jeff with some hefty rolls on about 8 foot faces. Jared had the second advancing spot and did until the last 10 seconds of the heat, when Jeff Hubbard caught a wave, did a flip and just edged past Jared, thus eliminating the South African and leaving his world title chances in the hands of Amaury Lavernhe and Pierre Louis Costes, BOTH former world champions.

As a sidenote, I wanted to meet up with Jared and Natasha, firstly to congratulate them on getting married and on their daughter and to give thanks for the wonderful example they give as individuals and as a family. I had copies of some my books I wanted to give them but wanted to do it at the same time, since four years prior I had injured my back on the beach and Natasha, coordinating the event AND competing always took time to make sure I was Ok.

Then he lost his next heat and I could only feel for the guy. He was gutted, frustrated and emotionally rattled. He wanted to stay shut up indoors until whatever happened happened. Then he got a call from Dave Hubbard, brother to Jeff who just eliminated him, multiple dropknee world champion and the most versatile rider I know of… and one of the coolest guys you’ll ever meet. He left a message saying something on the lines of saying that Jared was one of the best riders on the planet, but that how he behaved in the following hours showed if he could behave like a champion (pardon the botchy paraphrasing but can’t find the transcript). Jared then sucked it up and went back to the event site knowing full well he needed Amaury Lavernhe to not make it past Heat 7 and for Pierre Louis Costes to not win the event.

So when Amaury lost his Round 7 heat… the spark of hope roared into a flame and Jared could still dream of a world title. He just needed one of the most consistent riders and a good friend to not be able to take the event…. And that’s just what happened. In a stroke of poetic justice, it was in the hands of the same guy who eliminated him in Round 6 to win the event and out of the gates Jeff Hubbard had every intention to do his part so Jerry won the title and he won the event.

When that happened and it was announced that he was world champion, I can’t begin to imagine what he felt and not because he did so in private, but because the dam broke and his emotions soared up and out of him. Relief, elation, joy, sadness, everything, every last bit of his feelings came out and he showed that although he kills giants of waves on his board, Jared Neil Houston is a wonderful human being capable of loving his family unconditionally and inspiring a whole new generation of board riders.

 To celebrate this upcoming season, here’s a clip from his riding in 2015 on his way to his world championship.

As for 2016, we’ll be rooting for ya Jerry, whether it’s in the water or out of it.

The Tao of Geek

In life we are invited to follow our own path, whatever it may be. For those of us who say the word geek and wear it as armor or have it written in our family crest, the path is clear to follow.

Love thy passions unabashedly. 

Fandoms exist thanks to fans who geek out totally and aren’t embarrassed to wear clothes, backpacks, socks, stickers, decals, pins, tattoos or anything related to their particular movie/book/series/comic of choice. We don’t care if people don’t agree with us, but when we find people who DO agree with us, let the geeking begin.

Give a tithe to thy passions

Being a geek means you will spend money not on expensive jewelry but on figurines, t-shirts, limited edition whatevers and won’t question your decision for one second.

Love thy neighbor’s geekness as thou would  lovst thy own

Being a geek, the only rule is to accept thy geekness as you would accept others and vice-versa. Being a geek is all about screaming what you love and finding kindred people to geek out with. Still, we should all get along and respect our mutual geekness.

Haveth a lotteth of funneth

Being a geek is most times all about having fun and that’s exactly what you have to do. Be passionate, just don’t be stuck about what your theories and opinions are. The idea of geeks are to show force in numbers and unite collective brain power AND passions.

So tell me, what else are we missing in this post to complete the Tao of Geek?

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

A random wishlist

In life, we all have plenty of things we want to achieve. Some are more conventional than others. This list is about those others. Those things that for some reason I want to achieve and although not sure how I will, the desire is there. So here goes:

1. Do a book music tour where I play small venues and read of my books and play songs
2. Star in a video for the song “Lady, your roof brings me down.” I would love for film students to help me bring out a concept I have for every time I listen to this song by Scott Weiland. Why do I want to star? Ego might be the easy answer, but I honestly would love the challenge of stepping COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone in the name of artistic expression for a song that evokes so many images in my mind.
3. To have JK Rowling and Neil Gaiman enjoy something I write. Honestly, this is more of a wish to give back to these two magnificent writers who have touched me so deeply with their words. Beyond thankful for them and more than validation, I just want to know something I wrote made them smile. Childish? Sure. But we’re all allowed a fandom or two, aren’t we?
4. To record my music at a higher level. Although far from a rockstar or epic, I do think my songs merit a go at trying to record them in better quality to share. 
5. To help write the story for a video game. I have an RPG concept I’d like to develop and also have a different idea for a story altogether. It’s just an itch I want to scratch with a game controller :D Oh and there’s the matter of the body boarding video game I’d love to make.
6. To make my own soda brand. I’m random, get used to it :D
7. I want to learn to rock climb and to climb one mountain. Doesn’t need to be anything psycho. Just me and a rock getting to know each other.
8. To make a board game that has high replay value. I think that’s a pretty cool challenge.
9. To appear in a body boarding segment. I’d love to see footage of me riding and see how I can improve my riding.
10. Help in the design of an amusement park ride. How flipping epic would that be? I think of JK getting on a Harry Potter ride and smiling to herself. :D
11. To give a commencement speech. More than anything, I would like the ability to say something that will inspire graduates to throw caution to the wind and dream big. I regularly read/watch Steve Jobs’s commencement speech and would love to do that.
12. Do a TED Talk. To do a TED Talk you should be doing something that can make an impact on the world. I want to develop some of the initiatives I am pursuing to the point where I can impact a child in Pakistan and how he can get along well with a girl from the Scottish Highlands and beyond. 

And yes, this is off the top of my head. :D We’ll see how I go about pursuing these and many other dreams, because, why not?

Peace, love, and maki rolls

I can’t drive 35

Although Sammy Hagar couldn’t drive 55, I stumbled 20 less than that.

A full 161 days after my 35th birthday, I finally sit down to write my birthday post. This is actually on par with 2015, which was such a crazy year on so many fronts. For me, the feelings I’ve had most of my adult life continue. In some contexts I feel like a baby boy while in others I feel downright ancient. It’s an odd way to achieve balance, but such is life and such have been the first 160 days of me being 35.

Although it can also be described in one word

Transition

Mind you, it wasn’t a smooth transition but I feel the shift and at this time I’m swimming through a sea change, which is intense. On most birthdays the last couple of years I’ve sat down and reflected on what that last year meant on that very same day. Last year shook me in plenty of ways… enough to delay this post almost half a year.

But the end result is the same. I’m thankful. For the good and bad. For the easy and hard. For the pleasure and pain. I learned several valuable lessons, some easier to swallow than others. I was surprised, disappointed, hurt, touched, scared, and calm. I ran the gauntlet of emotions and although some scars remain, I’m better for it and hopefully wiser (I’ve learned that lessons and wisdom yield fruit long after they’re learned instead of an immediate payoff).

Creatively it was a magnificent year with plenty of blogposts and me tossing myself into my insecurities for better or worse. I’m recording videos where I ramble or playing songs both original or covers. I finished my second novel, which will get its own blogpost and video very shortly, I’m working on recurring series on social media, and challenging myself to push deeper, to wield words in my voice and to not shy away from the rawest emotions I feel through my work. I had a wonderful showing at the Puerto Rico Comic Con, met some amazing people and was blessed with a lot of support that still goes strong. I published my daydreams and two poetry collections. I jotted down plans for future projects and the prospect of a blank page has never made me smile more.

I also interviewed several brilliant people and the trend shall continue. That’s because I’m also collaborating with several brilliant and beautiful minds on projects of varying scope in search of the beauty of synergy, i.e. surpassing the sum of our parts. It’s been a wonderfully rewarding experience and something that I cherish deeply.

In regards to health, I learned to ask for help when needed, and that one of the hardest parts of doing so is admitting you need that help. I also learned to follow recommendations and make decisions that are for my well being as well as others. I also learned that one is quite capable of failure and that said failure hurts you to the point of knocking you down and robbing your sails of any wind. With that lesson also came the lesson that recovery is possible when you hit whatever ails you with all you have and use every resource available. Self-patience… never have I had to work on it as I did and rarely have I been as scared as I was at certain points from last year. But all in all, part of the transition, part of the lesson.

I was also rewarded by the reminder that some people will be there in good times and bad times and that kindness can always prevail and in addition, is always the best option, at least for me. So the transition continues and more changes are coming. But unlike the day of my birthday, I’m a lot readier to face it with a smile, and an open heart to whatever the cards hold for me.

The learning continues and so does the living. As for August 13, 2016…. Fully expect me to write on that very same day and that between now and then, there’ll be plenty more to share. My thanks for anyone who reads this, for all the people who care, for all the people who have offered me support, and for allowing me the opportunity to pay forward the kindness life gives me daily.

I titled this post by saying I can't drive 35... and that's true, because I choose to walk it and enjoy every step.

Peace, love and maki rolls.

Rant in Estrada Minor – Childhood glimpse in 1,000 words

I can’t see a rubber chicken without thinking of Fozzy Bear. When I did something bad I would sit myself in a corner sometimes. I confessed to a priest that I’d killed many ants one day. When I prayed, I’d say a Hail Mary as if it was my password to be allowed to pray/talk to God. I read a lot of Chinese comics as a kid. My first leanings to agnosticism I think began when I envisioned all deities sitting in a round table trying to sort this world. I was 9 when I had that thought. I fondly remember scraped knees. I remember that at the time it wasn’t so fond. The first girl I ever fell in love with had glasses. We rode a horse together like in those romantic novels. I was 5. I had a slight degree of dyslexia as a child. I still write the number 8 backwards. I’m still embarrassed by my handwriting, but as a child it was really bad. I was always told I would be a doctor or a lawyer. I had other plans even then. I remember riding my bicycle in my neighborhood. There was a large shrub at the end of our complex. I rode and crashed into it making a permanent cave… a bat cave some called it. You’re welcome Batman. I remember that next to that shrub was a shed that if you climbed on top you could reach a mandarin tree from a huge house behind the complex. We always made sure that no oranges were there. I sometimes slept with a bat. Just in case. I also loved taking baths. I sometimes had a bottle of the red Plax mouthwash nearby in case burglars came in to tip it into the bathtub and make as if I was dead. I’m weirder in some ways but less weird in others. I was known to head butt people if I was angry. I was a big fan of Jean Claude Van Damme. I also see the link. I spent countless hours playing video games. I also played outside. I didn’t know I was a firm believer of balance even then. I loved eating sweets. I would put Nerds candy into a Coca Cola. I’m still amazed I’m as healthy as I am. I remember being annoyed by a Freedent commercial where a couple was playing golf, hit the ball as a couple, and then looked at each other as fake as their bullshit gum. That commercial still bothers me. I’m sure they missed the hole. I loved Big Trouble in Little China. I would run around with a laundry basket on my head as if I was the fourth storm. I never walked in on my parents having sex. Every time I took a flight, I would search for Care Bears in the clouds. I still sometimes wish I saw one waving at me even if it meant we could crash. I used to play with my GI Joes as if they were in a kung fu movie. I might have made a link between kung-fu grip and jung-fu. Or maybe I preferred kicks and punches to guns and bombs. Some things don’t change. On sick days I would watch Star Wars, Swiss Family Robinson, The Cat from Outer Space, Robin Hood (Disney version), a ton of cartoons and Supermarket sweep. I often called mom to tell her about great deals I saw on infomercials. Part of me still wants that food dehydrator. It was because of the home made fruit rolls ups and beef jerky. I remember my grand uncle fondly. He had false teeth. He kept them in a glass of water next to the bed. I learned early in my life to not drink water from a glass without looking first. False teeth still freak me out. My grandfather on my father’s side breathed deeply. Very deeply. Freakishly deep. He would also wind the cuckoo clock as many times as I’d ask him too. He was the first death in my family that I remember. The first one was actually my aunt. When you’re a kid, time gets mixed up. The same happens when you’re an adult. My mom had a store in Old San Juan. They changed locales twice. The third one had a second floor where I would go to hang out alone. I still remember fondly the adventures I’d have with coat hangers, large boxes, and miscellaneous racks. My grand aunt had the best mints. They were from the Dominican Republic and looked like sugary emeralds. I still remember the taste of those mints and the smell of her hair. I loved the Little Mermaid Soundtrack. I had the tape. I put it in my dad’s car. It got stuck for almost a year. Those mornings were some of the happiest times. My dad was more of a saint than I gave him credit for as a child. I still remember the smell of construction plans in his room. He worked too much. But he meant well. He always did. Two of my oldest memories are a dream where I almost drown and a dream where my parents abandoned me. My nightmares are someone’s reality. I didn’t know then how lucky I was. I remember going to Disneyland and having my mom buy a lollipop that was bigger than my head. That was a sweet challenge. I conquered it. When I was a kid I had to go to a chiropractor twice due to torticollis. I had a lot of stuffed animals. They needed to be comfortable when they slept. I didn’t. Torticollis happened. But they slept well. I got detention once. I called a teacher a name to her face. It was mean. She died a couple of years later. I was never able to apologize. That still hurts. I always felt bad for the squirrel in the Sword in the Stone. She deserved better. That’s all for now.

My first song in Spanish

The first song I try in Spanish is Té para Tres from Soda Stereo. This week the world lost three lovely people, Alan Rickman, David Bowie and Rebecca Ochoa. The last is not known to many but she was someone from my life who unfortunately passed away. Below are the lyrics transcribed and translated by @Moncivaiz, a very lovely friend from Google Plus. Cheers to all and here's to a great weekend where we celebrate life.



The cups on the table 
Spilled rain... 
a little of honey 
a little of honey
is not enough 
the eclipse was not partial 
and blinded our eyes 
I saw you crying
I saw you crying 
for him
Tea for three 
A sip of distraction 
looking to decode us
there is nothing better 
there is nothing better
than home 
tea for three

Las tazas sobre el mantel
la lluvia derramada...
un poco de miel
un poco de miel
no basta
El eclipse no fue parcial
y cegó nuestras miradas
te vi que llorabas
te vi que llorabas
por él
Te para tres
Un sorbo de distracción
buscando descifrarnos
no hay nada mejor 
no hay nada mejor 
que casa
Te para tres

A villain who stole our hearts

This is the third post this week related to someone’s passing. I hope it is the last for a while……

****

Some actors are simply born to play the villain. If you look at Donald Sutherland, you see it in the facial features. But when you think of the villains Alan Rickman played… it’s not just his bone structure that made him villainous, it’s that he relished the opportunity to steal the show.

To this day, no other Die Hard villain has come close to Hans Gruber. The most wicked incarnation of the Sheriff of Nottingham stole Kevin Costner’s thunder. Severus Snape in film is one of the few instances where an actor upstages the book version of a character (and not just any character but one of the most complete and fleshed out characters I've ever had the pleasure to read). In his role as Judge Turpin in Sweeney Todd, he was also magnificently awful.

But while thinking of other villainous roles, I remembered his painfully human role as Harry in Love Actually and how much I laughed with his performance as Alexander/Dr. Lazarus in Galaxy Quest. Which goes to show that he could have been any role he wanted and that I’m probably missing out on countless movies that show off a whole other aspect of him as an actor.

This is a testament to talent as much as full commitment to craft.

Here’s the thing, if you see a photograph of Alan Rickman, you see that his face was actually quite kind. He had a genuine smile and I wouldn’t be surprised to hear he was a warm guy liked by many. But when he embodied these characters… it went beyond acting… he metamorphosed to frighten and revile as much as he delighted.

Look at any list of top film villains of all time and you will see his roles. The magic to me comes from his voice… his cadence, his inflection. It was an incomparable vehicle rivaled by very few actors and although he was brilliant as Snape, Hans is the perfect example of the power of his voice in the delivery of a line. Case in point, “Shoot the Glass.” Although there's also the power in the way he could spit out the name Potter.

He also showed that you really don’t need to scream to get your point across. Actually, screaming deflates many things we have to say… and he played this to his advantage. seeing his delivery, you would think that he loved to read, because he loved to linger on syllables and knew how to make love to a word before unleashing it on the viewer.

Then there were those eyes. Eyes that could be as cold as a shark’s eyes, inching their gaze across the vast nose that added to his menace. The same eyes that could show human fragility and make you laugh out loud.

The best actors really do stay with you long after you see a movie and today we celebrate the passing of another brilliant performer. As we watch the credits of his life roll, I’m certain of two things:

His performance will stay with us long after they finish

And quite often, he stole the show.

Cheers

Here today…

Yesterday I found out a friend from high school was in the hospital and wasn’t doing well.

Today I found out she passed away.

I hadn’t heard from her in a while and truth-be-told we had history. Long story short, we went out when we were in high school and it ended up like most relationships that occur in high school… poorly. Fast forward a couple of years and thanks to her reaching out, we made amends and afterwards every time I saw her it was a very pleasant surprise.

Today’s news is of the other kind of surprise. The type that slaps you into reality and reminds you how very fragile we are. It shows you how real mortality is and that we would do ourselves an immense favor by being kind, burying any loose hatchets lying around, and enjoying life.

It’s also a very real reminder at how thankful I am to her for having reached out all those years ago. For asking me point blank if I hated her. For kindly listening to my most honest answer to such a hard question to be asked. For letting a man in his twenties pry open an old wound and saying what he felt. For talking to me and always remaining calm. For saying she understood. For not just saying she understood and actually understanding. For forgiving me the anger I am so capable of. For freeing me of carrying such a common burden as old heartbreak. For asking for forgiveness and accepting my apology. In short, for having learned much earlier than me to be a better human and for being one of the people whom I’m fortunate to have called friend in several different ways and who taught me so much about life and about myself.

Today I am yet again reminded of life and that while we are here today, we have no idea what will happen tomorrow and that such a fact shouldn’t scare us but inspire us to live. To remain alive is not a choice we have… but to live? That is most certainly a choice we are all invited to make the most off.

Godspeed

Reminiscing and reflecting across the tides of 2015

I am certain that when many of us look back on 2015, we will remark at how batcrazy that year was. I know a year is independent of thought, feelings, or emotions, but if any year could give that opinion a run for its money, it was last year.

For some people, the year was utter hell, but for me what made it so intense was how up and down it was.

I remember seeing clouds tumble fiercely on the 31st. The winds were so strong, so intense, so insistent to wreak havoc and continue being completely unpredictable. The day here had sunshine, then rain, then sunshine, then borderline torrential downpour, then drizzle, then sun, then wind, wind, and more wind. It was like the collective unconscious and consciousness wanted to get the year over and done with.

Intense is definitely the word that aptly describes the year, a year so full of emotions, of lessons, of victories, of pains, of frustrations, of worry, of smiles, of blessings, of challenges and everything in between.

My second outing in the Comic Con was a complete success for me. Almost doubled sales, had people for whom I was the first stop, met some truly remarkable people that I've become close with, lunched with, connected with, and collaborated with. It was a year where I was shown a glimpse of what I can do if I give my faith in my work free reign.

It was also a scary year. Health scares were a lot more frequent than I'd like and truth be told, thanks to chronic bronchitis and other situations, I feel as if it was a year where I was overmedicated to control my lungs, which put a spin to the rest of my system.

It was a year that had its disappointments too. In people, and myself. I didn't bat 1000, I didn't always nail it, and I had more than one stumble. But I always got up. I had friends from people in my life, near and dear, I acquired new friends, and learned that making peace with myself is the hardest obstacle I've ever had to overcome.

Although I will go more into detail later, I learned first hand how bad holding things within can be with you. Emotionally, it was a year of learning though and although I always try to take a good look at myself to learn, last year I had the deepest look yet. It was frightening, it hurt, and it seemed insurmountable at times. But I had people with me, my wife, my best friend, my mom, and some friends who are close to the heart even though distance would make a case otherwise. Thanks to being stubborn and having people be stubborn with me, I was able to get the train back on its tracks. Where one moment things might have seemed to be capsizing, I was blessed with countless angels with the right thing to say, or do. That I live with one of those angels is an unfair advantage I know.... but so is having people who have touched the deepest fibers of my soul even if we've never shared a handshake or a hug (even if we will).

But come January 1st, the skies were clear... there were no more clouds... the stormy weather had passed and even if there was wind, the weather was pleasant... beautifully so.

It was like the first day of the year put a sun smile over my shoulder to congratulate me on making it. That's because throughout it all, an overwhelming sense of clarity permeated my self in the last month of the year, even with another health scare. Even going through that, I was calm, knew what I had to do and did it.

Although far from finding my sense of Zen, I did see my path... not a glimpse of it, but a good hard look. It was an epiphany... not my first, but surely one that will leave a mark in my self.

So I look back at 2015, not unkindly, not unfondly, but appreciative of the victories, the lessons, the pain, and the angels that are with me every day in some way, shape or form. It was a 365 day reminder and expansion of how blessed I am.

So to all the kind spirits who have read me, written to me, reviewed me, commented me, shared me, laughed, cried, and experienced life through some shared experience; thank you. And get ready, there's a storm coming.... and I smile as I feed its winds.

Peace, love, and maki rolls.