Wednesday, January 6, 2016
Reminiscing and reflecting across the tides of 2015
For some people, the year was utter hell, but for me what made it so intense was how up and down it was.
I remember seeing clouds tumble fiercely on the 31st. The winds were so strong, so intense, so insistent to wreak havoc and continue being completely unpredictable. The day here had sunshine, then rain, then sunshine, then borderline torrential downpour, then drizzle, then sun, then wind, wind, and more wind. It was like the collective unconscious and consciousness wanted to get the year over and done with.
Intense is definitely the word that aptly describes the year, a year so full of emotions, of lessons, of victories, of pains, of frustrations, of worry, of smiles, of blessings, of challenges and everything in between.
My second outing in the Comic Con was a complete success for me. Almost doubled sales, had people for whom I was the first stop, met some truly remarkable people that I've become close with, lunched with, connected with, and collaborated with. It was a year where I was shown a glimpse of what I can do if I give my faith in my work free reign.
It was also a scary year. Health scares were a lot more frequent than I'd like and truth be told, thanks to chronic bronchitis and other situations, I feel as if it was a year where I was overmedicated to control my lungs, which put a spin to the rest of my system.
It was a year that had its disappointments too. In people, and myself. I didn't bat 1000, I didn't always nail it, and I had more than one stumble. But I always got up. I had friends from people in my life, near and dear, I acquired new friends, and learned that making peace with myself is the hardest obstacle I've ever had to overcome.
Although I will go more into detail later, I learned first hand how bad holding things within can be with you. Emotionally, it was a year of learning though and although I always try to take a good look at myself to learn, last year I had the deepest look yet. It was frightening, it hurt, and it seemed insurmountable at times. But I had people with me, my wife, my best friend, my mom, and some friends who are close to the heart even though distance would make a case otherwise. Thanks to being stubborn and having people be stubborn with me, I was able to get the train back on its tracks. Where one moment things might have seemed to be capsizing, I was blessed with countless angels with the right thing to say, or do. That I live with one of those angels is an unfair advantage I know.... but so is having people who have touched the deepest fibers of my soul even if we've never shared a handshake or a hug (even if we will).
But come January 1st, the skies were clear... there were no more clouds... the stormy weather had passed and even if there was wind, the weather was pleasant... beautifully so.
It was like the first day of the year put a sun smile over my shoulder to congratulate me on making it. That's because throughout it all, an overwhelming sense of clarity permeated my self in the last month of the year, even with another health scare. Even going through that, I was calm, knew what I had to do and did it.
Although far from finding my sense of Zen, I did see my path... not a glimpse of it, but a good hard look. It was an epiphany... not my first, but surely one that will leave a mark in my self.
So I look back at 2015, not unkindly, not unfondly, but appreciative of the victories, the lessons, the pain, and the angels that are with me every day in some way, shape or form. It was a 365 day reminder and expansion of how blessed I am.
So to all the kind spirits who have read me, written to me, reviewed me, commented me, shared me, laughed, cried, and experienced life through some shared experience; thank you. And get ready, there's a storm coming.... and I smile as I feed its winds.
Peace, love, and maki rolls.