Friday, January 29, 2016
Today is one of those days.
Today I yield to my dreams.
Today ends one chapter.
Today I begin.
Today is my last day at my job.
For the longest time I've been living a double life. Copywriter by day, writer whenever I have time. In this period of time I've written hundreds of posts, I've published one novel, I've released three poetry collections, I've written daydreams and brought them to Raelity and I've dreamed.
Splitting your time between what you have to do to make a living with what you need to do because it is your will, your path, your desire and what moves your soul is draining.
During the last 7 years I've worked for one of the biggest companies in Puerto Rico. I've met hundreds of people and worked on probably thousands of tasks and projects. I've learned a lot but the biggest lesson is that what I was doing, I can't do any more. Not because it's a bad job, not because it's not worthy of me, but because it does not make me happy and there are other things pulling at my soul begging to not delay one more second.
Last year I decided to listen to that voice in me that so often tells people to dream, to dare, to go for it, why not, what have you got to lose? Last year I decided to listen to not only my desire but take a dose of my own advice.
Today is when that chapter comes to an end. Where I let go of comfort and security in favor of what I can be.
Am I scared?
Yes. But not cripplingly so.
It is the first time I'm giving myself the opportunity to demonstrate what I have believed for a long time: that if I give myself the opportunity and give it my all, I can make a difference.
Am I worried?
No. Amazingly so, fear can coexist with desire and dreams. For the first time instead of holding me back from something, fear has pushed me towards something. Quite a few things actually.
The first question most people have asked me is what am I going to do.
The simple answer: a lot.
I will write more and write on my own time. I have several projects coming to a close that need to see the light of day in this year and I'm going to guarantee that happens. I shall not wish. I shall do.
I will offer workshops at a professional and a community level. I have worked full time for over 13 years in 7 companies and I have learned things I want to share in the hopes of helping others through my experiences condensed in a presentation and collateral material. They will be offered in English and Spanish, because I live a bilingual life and I need to help others bilingually, so to speak.
I will go to schools with an educational proposal geared towards promoting tolerance of points of view so that people of all ages, especially young people, can accept varying perspectives and hopefully get along better and be better people.
I will also work freelance as an editor, translator, copy writer, communicator, proof reader, content developer, and public relations communication expert. I'll do this in part because we all need to start somewhere and because all of these skills have made me the writer and human I am today and I want to keep them with me.
I believe in what I have to offer. I believe in my work. I believe in what I can share. I believe in the power of common ground and I want to plant whatever seeds I can to help something grow.
If you've ever believed in me, thank you. I will work hard to prove you right. I will continue to give the best of me, to write to the height of what I am capable of writing. I will continue to be true to me.
Now is the time I will give everything to make good on the belief other people have in me. Some people are driven to prove naysayers wrong. I can get that motivation, but I'd rather focus on the people that offer me support, which are plenty.
If you've ever been on the fence over reading me, sharing my work, or reviewing me, I humbly ask that you jump off that fence. I have jumped off my fence and it has been a liberating experience to put it lightly.
In this moment, I am thankful to a lot of people and a lot of things, but I am endlessly thankful to my wife. She has been incredibly supportive of this decision. She's told me to go for it. She's reassured me that everything will be Ok and meant it. She has looked me straight in the eye and told me she's proud of me for this decision and to embrace this new chapter. She's helped me through some really rough times and helped me become a better man through them. I love you, Janelis, I thank you, and I promise to prove you right.
Along with her, my mother has been incredibly supportive as well, as have been my best friends. Trobi, Antonio, Andrew, Esteban, Wanda, Joaquín and Alex from my analog life, have been pillars in my life and shall continue to be so, helping me to be a better me and offering me the kind reminder that we can always be better. My brothers Juanky and Kibu who continue to give me great examples to be as me as I can be. And several people who have broken down digital walls and distance to be there with me, if I list people, I shall omit someone, which is unacceptable, but some people need mentioning, so I'll risk it. Of special note are Cate Evans who has offered me unyielding friendship, kindness, love and support for years and pushed me to always be the best of me as a human and a writer and to never settle for second best, Karen Ohren, who was the reason I decided to release the poet within again, Larysia Woropay for believing in herself and making it easier to believe in myself, Amanda Armstrong, Sheila Bliss, Veronica Brannon, Seema Tabassum, Kevin Odinsknot, Eric Syrdal, Michelle C, Sarah Brentyn, Pat Sherard, Kay Gardner, Stephen Cleath, and Katya Lipnitskaya, for massive support and for sharing their dreams, Sarah & Katie Loken, Amy Dionne, and Nadia Fortuna for helping me see we can all heal for the better, and Emily Irizarry and Marilyn Ward for being truly inspiring to me.
There are many more people, hundreds in fact. People to whom I'm thankful and I'm sure I would mention if I continued this list. But I'll stop myself here. I will thank you by name and reason one day... but for now I have to finish this post, to finish my last day on the job and celebrate the first day of my true work.
Thankful, grateful, dreaming, and believing. This is me and if you've enjoyed what you've seen so far, get ready, I'm just getting started.
Peace, love, and maki rolls.