Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Cloudy with a chance of trying too hard

This is a post for a friend in regards to a situation they’re going through. Cheers, and hope things smoothen up.


Never doubt the ability of a human to be awkward and to try too hard. When it comes to life, things can sometimes flow while at other times, it’s this war of attrition where we insist on winning even if it’s bit by bit by bit. Sometimes it’s a full on stalemate, and other times, well it’s a poor investment of time and effort.

Trying too hard can happen for so many reasons, from loving someone to feeling guilty, to wanting to show you’re worthwhile, to catch someone’s attention, to show you’re worthy of a clique. The reasons are endless but the outcomes are often the same. You see, when you get to thinking you’re trying too hard, one of these things might have happened:

1. There’s no response.
2. You feel awkward and borderline embarrassed.
3. You start liking yourself a little less for insisting.
4. There’s still no response.

The fact is unfortunately that sometimes it’s best to not try anymore. For most posts, you’ll hear me talk about the need to persevere, to endure, to be stronger, to believe and most times this will be the case when it comes to life… but there are occasions where desisting is actually a better option, for however crappy that sounds and it’s something that I feel it needs to be said.

It’s all to do with the time and effort you’re investing. In life, energy and time are finite, and how we invest both will result in actions, reactions, and experiences. For those business-minded folk, this can be understood that trying too hard means that the return of investment does not justify what you put in. In other words, there's better things to invest your time and energy.

If you feel you’re trying too hard, maybe it’s time to stop trying so hard, to let things run their course, to stop forcing (something I’ll write more about in the coming days). But for this post, the focus is on that feeling within that maybe it’s not worth it, whatever “it” is.

Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Insisting is not the same as perseverance and sometimes we need someone to tell us that.

By the by, there is one caveat with me saying it’s sometimes better to desist… just because you stop insisting on something, that shall NEVER mean I shall recommend you should lose hope. That is NEVER the path or option. But sometimes you have to let things go so that they may fall where they may. I honestly believe that the more we allow things to flow, the better the outcome and maybe the first step needs to come from us.

So keep the time, keep the effort, and keep the hope, because that’s the only thing we must always hold onto.

Peace, love, and maki rolls.

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