Friday, May 30, 2014

Such great heights

I am not particularly tall, or so I think. I’m 5’10” and I think that’s above average. It’s not huge, it’s not small, just a good size. A friend of mine is 5’5” and says I’m delusional. When we talk about height, he says that I just can’t understand what he goes through because I’m tall. When I try to say that I’m not that tall, he says your less than a finger length from being 6 ft. tall.

You see, while women constantly battle the issues of image in regards to weight, appearance, hairstyles, clothing, and the such, men also deal with certain issues; maybe far reduced in number, though not necessarily in scale. True, a lot of men don’t care about their height, their weight, their looks or anything since the media has done a top notch job of making men more tolerable to their physical appearance in their natural state, though still, men do have issues... and as I speak with my friend, height is one of the main ones for those that don’t possess it.

I’ve heard phrases like:
“People always push up against me…”
“They don’t respect me.”
“Everyone cuts in front of me in a line.”
“Women don’t find me as a desirable mate because I’m not tall enough.”

When you hear things like these, you realize that this issue is bigger than what you could ever imagine and honestly, if you’re a woman, I invite you to think about it. Have you ever met a super nice guy you haven’t gone out with because of his height? Before you give a quick answer, really think that one through. I ask in this way because men are often accused of being superficial and I thought it’d be good to show that we can all be superficial at one time or another. I also want to bring this forth because although a feminist, I do have to recognize that some women can be shallow regarding certain issues, even if it’s not a popular thing to say. Mainly I’m just saying that women can be superficial as well and that men who don’t top the charts height-wise can be great people you might be missing out on for having a checklist of things you want in a man and for not giving a second thought to the shorter (not lesser) man.

Men are accused of being shallow because they focus on breasts, legs, a derriere or what have you… but rarely do men write down a list of specifications and requirements in their ideal mate, which is something I’ve seen many women do, and I’ll get back to this soon. I mention the list because you’ll probably never see one that asks for a guy to be 5’5”. You’ll never see it as a requisite and to be honest, I know many women for whom this could actually be a deal breaker and I’d like to propose something:

What if you had the perfect man for you, good son, great husband, fantastic lover, grooms enough to be clean and not so much he goes metro and has finger nails and eyebrows better cared for than you, has great taste in wine, drives a nice car, has and a healthy 401K, has no debt, deep blue or dark eyes (pick whatever you like), great hair, is an excellent masseuse and is always ready and willing to listen to you and your situations… but he’s 5’3”. What is your initial reaction to that “almost” perfect man?

You see, the whole tall dark and handsome thing hurts many a good man, because they see women they would slay a dragon for who do not pay any attention to them, because they’re too busy looking at 6 ft heart breakers that know they literally have a height advantage.

A bit above I mentioned the list I so often hear women writing… I know a woman who’s kept her list since she made it when she was 15… and she clings on to that, having passed on a few good men because they lacked something from that list. My question is this: how fiercely would you cling onto something that may keep you from being happy? Or maybe it’s just my invitation for each of us to see that the biggest people in our lives are not measured with feet or meters.


  1. If the woman you know is tall she may have a long wait for her ideal man!! It is all a matter of confidence and thankfully I am full of it. At 'only' 5'6, I often call myself short, fat and ugly but my lady is 5'10 and proud of me!

    1. Here-here Richard. Thing is I know various tall women who have opted for shorter men because they looked past the physical first impression. What you said is spot on, confidence. Bruce Lee wasn't tall, neither is Eddie Vedder, Al Pacino, or countless other famous people. Still, they go beyond the physical and become icons, symbols, heroes and beyond. So here's to being proud and strutting your stuff. Cheers