Recently a nice friend of mine had to respond to someone who was a bit ‘generous’ with their appreciation of their assets. The chap’s assessment went something on the lines of: “wow, I spent 10 minutes looking at your pictures, you’re beautiful and I love your boobs.”
He doesn’t know her, yet he felt completely comfortable
virtually licking his lips and having the emotional maturity, tact, and restraint
of a 13-year-old boy that just found his father’s porn stash and had to fondle
himself at the view.
I
have a wide variety of friends, male and female, heterosexual, homosexual,
gender fluid and what have you. Their sizes range from 4’6 to 6’6 and their
skin colors cover a broad spectrum. Yet something remains undeniable, men don’t
have to deal with harassment the way women do. In addition, although men
receive far less compliments than women, that in turn means they are subjected
to less comments that make you throw up in your mouth.
Mind
you, it’s not to say that as sexual beings we won’t check each other out. That’s
how many of us end up together and even end up procreating. But there’s a way
to show your appreciation for your fellow human and ogling, groping, or being a
superficial twat is not conducive to anything positive.
It’s
pretty simple, saying “Yo, baby, nice ____” shall never be a good option.
Complementing someone on their hair, dress options, or saying “wow, you look
great” are much better options and that’s being uncreative and downright basic.
There’s actually a very easy way of testing whether what you say is right or
wrong. If they say that to your mom or daughter, are you ok with it? If it’s
even remotely creepy to you, know that your threshold is probably way higher
than the receiving party who will receive said “compliment”. And yes, there are
plenty of ways to be creepy and it seems some people are blind to that. If we
can determine you have kind of a foot fetish or any fetish from a “compliment”,
think twice before clicking send or even opening your mouth. That’s because
everyone loves a good compliment but not many people enjoy a creepy comment.
Also,
saying someone is a 10 or any other place in a scale is god damn juvenile and
should be avoided. Might I also add this: an occasional compliment is nice, but
a constant barrage of compliments can be very uncomfortable. You can have the
best taste in compliments but like many things, being judicious in your
assessment and appreciation will always serve you better. If you on occasion
say something nice, it shall have way more impact than saying it every day or
every other moment.
I
focus the attention on women in this blogpost because the more I talk to my
female friends, the more I see the tendency of guys not knowing their
boundaries and being rude, creepy, and obnoxious and seriously, there’s better
ways to show you’re attracted and to flirt and I think every guy should take
the challenge to have a bit more taste and a lot less point, stare, and grunt
moments. It shows a lack of class AND creativity and honestly, we should all
aim to be unique and to appreciate each person for their own beauty and not
just for being a piece of ass. After all, physical is skin deep while tacky is
to the bone. The main thing to remember is this, a compliment shall always have
a degree of respect… and if you’re wondering, respect is one of the sexiest
things you’ll ever find.
Peace,
love, and maki rolls
Being harassed online is just a default expectation for us wimminfolk online, and that's sad but we brace ourselves constantly at least once a day.
ReplyDeleteI've seen and heard many things I'm not happy to hear about several female friends. Women shouldn't have to learn to deal with it. I think men have to learn to shut that crap down.
Delete